Consider an ICOM widebander like the ICR6/ICR6E, a good used R20 or if money's no object, an R30. Expensive, but probably what you're looking for.
There's also the Yaesu FT60R HT if you want to cheap out, it doesn't have selectable wide/narrow input (only transmission) but it does have AM receive and a more or less usable S-meter. 108-520; 700-999 (with gaps). It also runs on standard AAs with a (somewhat expensive) battery tray. Remember, you only need a hammy ticket to transmit! (It won't key up outside the hammy bands without a freeband mod.) And if you freeband it you can hit FRS/GMRS/MURS but it's a very delicate procedure.
You're probably not going to get everything you're asking for in an handheld. There have to be design compromises and tradeoffs due to limited working space compared to a tabletop. Though with modern DSP rigs and SDRs (cough cough Hackrf with portapack cough cough) that philosophy starting to change.