KFYI Sanctions
"Thunk!" (There, tongue planted firmly in cheek.)
Wow, Uncle Charlie sure worked fast on this one.
With the valuable input from Terry "Janet's Lap
Dog" Goddard and Paul "I won't prosecute firebugs"
Charlton, here are the sanctions to be placed on
55/FYI effective Monday:
1) Fly Mexican flag outside new CC compound.
All KFYI staffers to salute it twice daily.
(Not with the middle finger, guys!)
2) Hire an illegal alien to work in studio
with Jacobs. Primary job is to gore him (Jacobs)
with a 500-volt cattle prod every time he fails
to throw to traffic report within 30 seconds of
scheduled time. Oh wait, it's illegal to hire
an illegal alien. Try alternate plan...
3) Toss current traffic twins and hire KT'R
trafficmeister Deputy Dan. Rebrand it in his
style as "west side/west side traffic."
4) "The nearly bald one" (thanks Doc, I like
that better than "the allegedly famous one")
will be required to refer to himself solely as
Mr. Kim Komando.
5) The FCC hereby revokes KFYI's syndication
rights to El Rushbo and transfers those rights
to KAZG 1440 Scottsdale. For airing at 9pm.
(But it's a great nighttime signal!)
6) Full disclosure of city of origin for any
Crummey radio shows they air. (Did they lose
his ISDN line for a few minutes yesterday
about 4:16pm?)
7) Get rid of Royal Norman's canned weather.
(I'll give KT'R credit for having Mr. Ed live
at least a couple times an hour!) Actually,
sanctions or no sanctions--get rid of the
@#$% canned weather!
If you see any additional sanctions coming
out of the FCC, please post 'em!
(And I generally enjoy KFYI. Just think if
I was one of those anti-KFYI libs ;-)
