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HUMOR ALERT: How Saints 2007 season/Saints radio network can be saved

Here's the big news:

Many of you know about karma...more specifically how if you do something bad then something bad will happen to you, same thing when you do good. Similar to that there's "The Butterfly Theory" where the flapping of a butterfly's wings in Hawaii could gradually become more powerful if it's picked up by energy associated with the jetstream and end up as the genesis of a storm system on the west coast days later. Well...the Saints have their own version of these two concepts that can be reversed for the better.

If you listen to the Saints radio network's pre-game show every week you'll know that color analyst Hokie Gajan has many on-air duties, one of which is to read the weather forecasts for both indoor and outdoor games which is related to an air conditioner sponsor. Here's where the problem lies....you see, Mr. Gajan from about the early 1990s through 2005 wore a wig at various public events & to work, which frankly we have no problem with. However, in the last couple of years he has stopped wearing it.....and as many of you know, someone based out of New Orleans who doesn't wear their wig while reading the weather is committing basic blasphemy and violating the time-honored tradition of weathercasters in the Crescent City resembling either a ball of wax or an albino skunk died on their head.
Doing further chemical analysis in our Saints Comedy newsletter laboratory, we have determined that the wig glue Mr. Gajan used had a vapor smell that when combined on gameday (home or away) with the stadium smell of cigars, popcorn, and hot dogs under a lamp for a base minimum of 15 minutes, stimulated in players a true aroma to remind them of what gameday is all about....winning, an aroma that should have bottled & sold for future use! With 2007 so far being a season where the players seem out of sync, they need all the help they can get.
In essence, Mr. Gajan's not wearing the wig during the weather report on Saints radio pre-game, even for just that brief minute, has destroyed the team's "artificially induced atmosphere of winning" and has also violated the basics of karma and the Butterfly theory stated earlier.
However, as you can tell, the season can still be saved! We need Hokie to start wearing his wig again, even if it's just for the weather report so this season can be re-invigorated with the stated aroma and the karma will come back BIG-TIME!
So spread the word people....instead of cheering "Run Reggie Run" spread this e-mail to all your Saints fans/friends with the cheer "Rug Hokie Rug". We need the rug back to save the season! It makes perfect sense!

Thank you people, now go do your duty, spread the word and help save the season!
Take care.
Vanessa
 
I'm doing my part by smoking more cigars.

Vanessa, you are a true visionary this city has not seen the likes of since Morgus.

I'm at your feet darlin, just at your feet!
 
Wait, Hokie wears a piece? You can’t be serious? Next thing you’ll tell us is that that’s not Vinnie’s real hair, or that Bob Breck wears a rug.
 
Great replies one and all, yes it was wordy, but I was very bored and the Saints season frankly needs humor infused into it...it's just that bad. And yes, breaks between paragraphs would have made it easier to read.
To Baron Bean, I'll tell William hello for you. Sadly, he's been ill lately and that's why his voice has been frankly rather bad the last week or so. Rumor has it that he's part of national book project to be released soon, which is surprising because the fact that he's from Lafourche parish...he's lucky if he can read & write at all. Take care. Vanessa
 
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