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The Shame of the Payola Scandal

B

BiggusDickus

Guest
Gads. I've been reading the work product of the attorneys working on the payola investigation and it's absolutely disgusting. It's not too hard to figure out who some of the un-named personalities are if you have a basic knowledge of the business. The kind of shwag they were pulling down for adds is enough to turn your stomach.

Is this what we've come to?

Have we no pride?

Have we no sense of professionalism?

Laptops? Trips to...Boston?

We're a bunch of freakin' pikers if that's the best we could do. I don't mind the world knowing we're a gang of whores, but do we have to be *cheap* whores? Sweet Jebus! Back in the old days they did payola right- paper bags filled with money, high class hookers, and blocks of hash the size of a Twinkie. Now we're reduced to adding a lame-ass Jennifer Lopez single in exchange for a Sony laptop. Worse, it was the base model without the enhanced DVD, the widescreen LCD, or the cute little flash drive. And only 256 megs of memory! In the olden days adding something like that was worth a weekend in Vegas, with the hookers and a nice little credit line included.

Here's the thing. Your soul is worth a heck of a lot more than you seem to think. When you call up the record guy and tell him you added his craptacular special of the week you should be hearing "Dude, you're getting a pizza box filled with twenties!" instead of "Dude, you're getting a Dell!"

Have some self respect, people. If you're willing to work hard you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, and setting the bar for success at a low-end laptop, or a trip to Boston so you can catch the 9 o'clock "Wenchin' Wednesday" show at Medieval Times, is absolutely shameful. Not that "Wenchin' Wednesday" at Medieval Times isn't fun, mind you, but for a J-Lo song you deserve the full blown "Wenches Work my Wank Wednesday" treatment. From a pair of smokin' hot goth chicks dressed in chainmail bikinis singing "Carmina Burana".

I don't know about you, but I became a D-uh-J because of Casey Kasem. Every week ol' Casey would say something that to this day inspires me. "Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars." So stop settling for second best and start asking for some *real* payola. It's what Casey would want you to do.

Your friend forever,
Biggus Dickus
 
> When you call up the record guy and
> tell him you added his craptacular special of the week you
> should be hearing "Dude, you're getting a pizza box filled
> with twenties!" instead of "Dude, you're getting a Dell!"

Yeah, and cash is a LOT harder to trace!

PS - Don't sign ANYTHING!

PPS - E-mail is NOT private or secure.
 
> Gads. I've been reading the work product of the attorneys
> working on the payola investigation and it's absolutely
> disgusting. It's not too hard to figure out who some of the
> un-named personalities are if you have a basic knowledge of
> the business. The kind of shwag they were pulling down for
> adds is enough to turn your stomach.
>
> Is this what we've come to?
>
> Have we no pride?
>
> Have we no sense of professionalism?
>
> Laptops? Trips to...Boston?
>
> We're a bunch of freakin' pikers if that's the best we could
> do. I don't mind the world knowing we're a gang of whores,
> but do we have to be *cheap* whores? Sweet Jebus! Back in
> the old days they did payola right- paper bags filled with
> money, high class hookers, and blocks of hash the size of a
> Twinkie. Now we're reduced to adding a lame-ass Jennifer
> Lopez single in exchange for a Sony laptop. Worse, it was
> the base model without the enhanced DVD, the widescreen LCD,
> or the cute little flash drive. And only 256 megs of
> memory! In the olden days adding something like that was
> worth a weekend in Vegas, with the hookers and a nice little
> credit line included.
>
> Here's the thing. Your soul is worth a heck of a lot more
> than you seem to think. When you call up the record guy and
> tell him you added his craptacular special of the week you
> should be hearing "Dude, you're getting a pizza box filled
> with twenties!" instead of "Dude, you're getting a Dell!"
>
> Have some self respect, people. If you're willing to work
> hard you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, and
> setting the bar for success at a low-end laptop, or a trip
> to Boston so you can catch the 9 o'clock "Wenchin'
> Wednesday" show at Medieval Times, is absolutely shameful.
> Not that "Wenchin' Wednesday" at Medieval Times isn't fun,
> mind you, but for a J-Lo song you deserve the full blown
> "Wenches Work my Wank Wednesday" treatment. From a pair of
> smokin' hot goth chicks dressed in chainmail bikinis singing
> "Carmina Burana".
>
> I don't know about you, but I became a D-uh-J because of
> Casey Kasem. Every week ol' Casey would say something that
> to this day inspires me. "Keep your feet on the ground, and
> keep reaching for the stars." So stop settling for second
> best and start asking for some *real* payola. It's what
> Casey would want you to do.
>
> Your friend forever,
> Biggus Dickus
>

Best post EVAR!

And all you giddy school girls blabbing about "who's getting fired/fined" are only giddy because you didn't get caught this time!

This new "scandal" will not change the way the radio/record/music industry works. It's nothing new and it's not the end of it.
 
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