Music doesn't matter.
I'm sorry, but I must disagree. Music does matter. Music has the ability to touch your spirit in a way that the spoken word alone can not. Music is a heart expressing itself. I play music on Acustic Piano, Keybords, Clarinet, and Sax, plus sing, a bit. I've written music, both instrumental and music with lyrics (both secular and Christian), led praise bands, and directed choirs so I know of what I speak.
Granted, there are some folks who have a tin ear, thay basically hear music in the service as something that justs fills space and takes up time before the preacher preaches. They don't care if you have bag pipes, gazoos, a symphony orchestra, or a heavy metal band playing hymns or praise music for those people the music just doesn't matter. I feel bad for those folks as they've missed such a blessing that came from God, the ability to allow music to move your spirit into the heights of worshipful expression to Our Lord.
The problem becomes that as music is so very personal how do you express your heart to God with music that hits your ear as noise or as being disrespectful to the worship of the Lord?
An example, I love Jazz. I like to hear it, I like to play it, yet I heard a jazz version of What a Friend We Have in Jesus and as much as I like swing music and jazz that version of that hymn sounded very disrepectful to my ear. On the other hand I've heard some great praise arrangements of old hymns that sound great and sounded to my heart very respectful of the original hymn, yet there may be others who'd not hear that praise arrangment as being respectful and honoring to the Lord. One man's music is another man's noise.
My guess is, most white folks would not be comfortable with Urban Gospel music being used in their church. It's simply not a style of music that most whites relate to, but that doesn't mean a mainly black oriented church shouldn't use Urban Gospel music in their service. That black congregation, on the other hand, might not be able to relate to hearing Bill and Gloria Gather's country gospel quartet style of music in their church. That's OK, God didn't make us all vanilla or chocolate. Some are strawberry, others butter pecan, rocky road, etc, etc. We all worship the same Lord, Jesus Christ.
The difference is how we express that faith and offer up our worship to God. In some churches people will do intrepretive dancing as part of their expression of worship. Personally, all that prancing around doesn't help me worship, it is fun to watch, but I could be just as blessed without all that dancing around, but the people doing it seemed to be blessed and enjoy their community worship time (their Sunday Service) a bit more by expressing their hearts to the Lord via intrepretive dance (this was at a Charismatic church I used to go to about 18 years ago).
In one sense I see the churches like radio stations. If you lived in a market with only one radio station and none others, from nearby cities were able to be picked up, that station probably is going to offer a more varied type of programming as they are trying to please everyone. On the other hand, when there are a bunch of radio stations, they can target a segment of the local population and program their station for that specific demo group (jazz, oldies, rock, metal, country, urban, talk, news/talk, etc). Church can be like that, in a town where there is only one church, they might have to offer all types of music so that all could come and be able to speak with their heart to God via the music. Most places have bunches of churches so many churches target a certain group. One is going after the 18-30 crowd, another is family oriented, another is elder friendly, one is very traditional, another is very modern, one is targeting a working class neighborhood, another is targeting a well to do community, etc, etc.
So if the music at your present church doesn't express your heart towards the Lord, then go church shopping and visit some of the other churches in your area. Find a church that expresses your heart, put down roots and be active, not just a pew sitter, but get involved serving both your local church and your community for Christ. Of course it goes without saying that the church, no matter what type of music used, must be a Biblically oriented, Christ centered church.
I go to church on Sunday to worship my Lord. I grew up Catholic back at a time when the Mass was still being said in Latin. You couldn't understand a word he was saying (unless you spoke Latin). The only English spoken was the sermon. That really took away from being able to worship fully. It was one reason Martin Luther wanted the Mass to be in the language of the people, in his case German. Music is much the same way. Some music is like a foriegn langugage to me and it doesn't speak to me or for me. Now I like most forms of music so the issue isn't as big of a problem for me as it probably is for some others, but music expresses the heart, so it is very possible that serious believers, who are not just being contrary may have difficulties in worshipping with a different type of music than what they generally use to speak for their heart. It literally could be like a foriegn language to them.
However, I will conceed that yes there are those who are seeking entertainment while in church and may be picky about the music, because it's not the style they find entertaining or others who need something to complain about.
On the other hand, I do believe that a serious follower of Christ should be able to make a go of it, when visiting a church (traveling so not home church) and be respectful of the music being used at that church and still offer your worship to the Lord even if the music doesn't speak for your heart. God knows your heart and will know or understand that you are being faithful in your worship.