S
Sexyvirilestud
Guest
Twas The Night Before Christmas
An original poem, by Sexyvirilestud:
Twas the night before Christmas, and across the radio dial...
It was eerily silent, the most in a while,
Whether Wachs or Von Haessler, or Moby The Hick,
Atlanta radio personalities awaited Saint Nick....
At home in his bathrobe, sat GST's Jerry Del Core,
pondering the future of the ratings in store,
"Ah, bah humbug, what do I care?"
"It doesn't matter, we're getting a two share!"
And then in his mansion, 680's David Dickey counted his cash,
"Maybe I can close the orphanage, and add to my stash,"
Then, off to his bathroom, Dickey paused to think,
"I need a step ladder to reach up to my sink,"
And, then off we go, to go visit the Star
where people with no talent have gone so far,
With Steve and Vicky, and Cindy and Ray,
I'll get Sirius Radio, I'm willing to pay!!!!
And, how about the Kimmer, the biggest poser of all?
The one with no shame, and limitless gall?
Gazing at his photo album, Kimmer reminisced about the Vietnam War,
spent at an Alabama airbase, mopping the floor,
If Santa needs traffic, there's always Captain Herb,
who talks like he's more than just a little disturbed,
500 crashes over a traffic bed,
then you'll wonder WHAT THE HELL HE JUST SAID,
And let's not forget Neal Boortz, the one with the mouth,
he of the bloated ego, the biggest down South,
As he gazed in the mirror, Boortz puffed out his chest,
then admired his photos of Hitler and Hess,
But, then all of a sudden, the Yuletide calm was a shatter,
as there arose such a noise, such a horrendous clatter,
It was Santa on the roof, with reindeer in tow,
adorned in all red, rosy cheeks aglow
But alas, the programmers looked nervous, and trembled and shook,
For Santa carried with him, the latest Fall Book,
From there, the night took a very grim turn,
as Santa's countenance turned ashen and stern,
Santa declared,"I bring a special gift on this trip,"
and in his gloved hand, he held a pink slip,
And, so Santa announced a corporate cutback,
My airshift replaced by a voice track,
"Oh, please," I begged, "I have three kids and a wife,"
"Oh please, oh Santa, don't ruin my life."
Santa just laughed, the mirth danced in his eyes,
"You can always mop floors, or serve up the fries,"
"But, please Santa, I've dreamed of radio since I was a child,
doing phone pranks, and bits that are wild,"
Santa sneered, "Oh, get off it,"
"We don't need deejays, just Nexgen and Prophet,"
And with that, Santa jumped into his sleigh,
having done his duty, his deed for the day,
In the next moment, the reindeer took flight,
and the sleigh rose high, high into the night
And so goes radio, our industry plight,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!!
An original poem, by Sexyvirilestud:
Twas the night before Christmas, and across the radio dial...
It was eerily silent, the most in a while,
Whether Wachs or Von Haessler, or Moby The Hick,
Atlanta radio personalities awaited Saint Nick....
At home in his bathrobe, sat GST's Jerry Del Core,
pondering the future of the ratings in store,
"Ah, bah humbug, what do I care?"
"It doesn't matter, we're getting a two share!"
And then in his mansion, 680's David Dickey counted his cash,
"Maybe I can close the orphanage, and add to my stash,"
Then, off to his bathroom, Dickey paused to think,
"I need a step ladder to reach up to my sink,"
And, then off we go, to go visit the Star
where people with no talent have gone so far,
With Steve and Vicky, and Cindy and Ray,
I'll get Sirius Radio, I'm willing to pay!!!!
And, how about the Kimmer, the biggest poser of all?
The one with no shame, and limitless gall?
Gazing at his photo album, Kimmer reminisced about the Vietnam War,
spent at an Alabama airbase, mopping the floor,
If Santa needs traffic, there's always Captain Herb,
who talks like he's more than just a little disturbed,
500 crashes over a traffic bed,
then you'll wonder WHAT THE HELL HE JUST SAID,
And let's not forget Neal Boortz, the one with the mouth,
he of the bloated ego, the biggest down South,
As he gazed in the mirror, Boortz puffed out his chest,
then admired his photos of Hitler and Hess,
But, then all of a sudden, the Yuletide calm was a shatter,
as there arose such a noise, such a horrendous clatter,
It was Santa on the roof, with reindeer in tow,
adorned in all red, rosy cheeks aglow
But alas, the programmers looked nervous, and trembled and shook,
For Santa carried with him, the latest Fall Book,
From there, the night took a very grim turn,
as Santa's countenance turned ashen and stern,
Santa declared,"I bring a special gift on this trip,"
and in his gloved hand, he held a pink slip,
And, so Santa announced a corporate cutback,
My airshift replaced by a voice track,
"Oh, please," I begged, "I have three kids and a wife,"
"Oh please, oh Santa, don't ruin my life."
Santa just laughed, the mirth danced in his eyes,
"You can always mop floors, or serve up the fries,"
"But, please Santa, I've dreamed of radio since I was a child,
doing phone pranks, and bits that are wild,"
Santa sneered, "Oh, get off it,"
"We don't need deejays, just Nexgen and Prophet,"
And with that, Santa jumped into his sleigh,
having done his duty, his deed for the day,
In the next moment, the reindeer took flight,
and the sleigh rose high, high into the night
And so goes radio, our industry plight,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!!
*DELETED*