Classic Quotes About Television

[Stanislav]

There are many witty quotes about television. Here are a few of my favorites -- feel free to add your own faves:

“Television is chewing gum for the eyes.” – Fred Allen

“Television is very educational. Whenever somebody turns it on, I go into another room and read a good book.” – Groucho Marx

“Always view with suspicion any proposal for a TV show, the premise of which takes more than 15 seconds to explain.” – Brandon Tartikoff

“Television is a medium – so-called because it is neither rare nor well done.” – Fred Allen (also attributed to Ernie Kovacs)

“It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.” – Rod Serling

“Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.” – David Frost

“Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.” – Ann Landers

“My father hated radio, and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.” – Peter DeVries

“One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.” – Kurt Vonnegut

“Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.” – Matt Groening

“Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.” – Alfred Hitchcock

“The whole problem with news on television comes down to this: all the words uttered in an hour of news coverage could be printed on one page of a newspaper. And the world cannot be understood in one page.” – Neil Postman

“The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.” – unknown

“Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.” – Alan Corenk

 

[bpatrick]

Fred Allen once checked into a hotel room, where
flowers had been placed on top of the television.
"That's the best thing I've seen on television," he
reportedly said.

 

[Cincinnati Kid]

In 1961, FCC Chairman Newt Minnow called television "A vast wasteland". What he said remains true today despite the thousands of channels available.

 

[azumanga]

Since his legendary speech, TV became better. But then you have the removal of commercial limits in the 1980s (which led to a proliferation of commercials and infomercials). And then you have consolidation of media and reductions in the limits of TV stations a company can own. And then you have digital equipment that's bound to break down; the lifting or reduction of equal time and public affairs rules; the implementation of E/I; reality shows; etc. etc. Even cable's not helping, with mostly cheap, insipid programming and infomercials at late night (though there are some bright spots, such as TCM).

TV in the late-1960s and 1970s was great compared to today. To be honest, I would even prefer the era of television before the "Vast Wasteland" speech, as today's TV is mostly a "toxic dump".

 

[bpatrick]

Another from Fred Allen: "Television is a triumph of
equipment over people, and the minds that control it
are so small that you could put them in the navel of
a flea and still have enough room beside them for a
network vice-president's heart."

Bing Crosby: "Well, I'd say it's pretty good, considering
it's for nothing."

John Mason Brown: "Some television programs are so
much chewing gum for the eyes."

Gilbert Seldes: "We are human and, given a chance, we
might still create an art form of television."

T.S. Eliot: "It is a medium of entertainment which permits
millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time,
and yet remain lonesome."

Sylvester (Pat) Weaver: "Television is the educator and the
communicator, the informer, the thing that can inspire and
enrich man as he makes his greatest transition from what he
is today into the first genuine adult human being." (wonder
when he said that?)

LeRoy Collins (former governor of Florida): "Television is the
greatest single power in the hands of mortal men."

Robert E. Kintner (former president of ABC and NBC):
"Television is now recognized everywhere as a vehicle for
education and information, a force to arouse and unify
developing nations, and a symbol of national status and
prestige that soars above the home-grown airline." (again,
awfully optimistic)

Edward R. Murrow (on the first telecast of "See It Now"
in 1951, when he showed live shots of the Atlantic and
Pacific Oceans): "We are impressed by a medium in which
a man sitting in his living room has been able for the first
time to look at two oceans at once." (indeed, a big thing
in 1951) Later, in 1958, he condemned television's "decadence
and escapism."

Source for all these quotes: "How Sweet It Was," by
Arthur Shulman and Roger Youman