Probably all of you know that Gleason hated to rehearse, so
there are a couple of "Honeymooners" scenes I have to believe
were ad-libbed. The first was Audrey Meadows' first appearance
as Alice; Ralph comes home, dinner isn't waiting, and Alice is thawing
a steak. Ralph stews: "You're serving me a frozen steak? YOU'RE
SERVING ME A FROZEN STEAK?" Alice takes the steak (actually a
painted piece of balsa wood), breaks it on the table (half goes flying
offstage), picks up the half that's left, puts it on the plate, and puts
in front of Ralph. "No, Ralph, I'm not serving you half a frozen steak.
I'm serving you half a frozen steak."
Another time, Alice and Norton are rehearsing a play, in which Norton
keeps pronouncing "polo ponies" as if it rhymes with "monopolies." When
he has to leave, Ralph takes over and makes the same mistake; Gleason's
eyes bug out: "Now he's got ME doing it!"
Desi Arnaz got out of a tight situation on "I Love Lucy" once. The Cuban
couple that gave Ricky Ricardo his start are in New York and he's invited them
to appear at the Tropicana. But first he wants them to meet Lucy; trouble is,
she doesn't speak Spanish and the Cubans don't speak English. So Desi has to
act as translator, and at one point he begins talking to the Cubans in English.
Realizing what he's done, he breaks out laughing: "Oh, fine!". I understand that
wasn't planned.
And there's that classic Bilko episode where the Army, trying to set a speed record
for inducting new recruits, inducts a chimpanzee, who gets court-martialed for biting the
mess sergeant. At the trial, Bilko acts as the chimp's lawyer; the chimp acts as if he's
whispering things to Bilko, who says, "Don't worry, I'll bring that up." Finally, the chimp
spots a telephone left on the stage, picks it up, and Bilko asks the court-martial board
for a recess: "My client is calling for a new attorney." That, too, was ad-libbed.
