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Fantastic word game

Beer, specifically too much of it, might be the reason behind Stuart's latest exit so we shall wait awhile until he sobers up and decides to make another return.

Awww Stuart, not again!! Well I've lost count of the number of Stu's exits and re-entries. And he's leaving just when we need him most tomorrow to staff the cafeteria during the July 4th band camp festivities. But, somehow, we shall move on without him and Miss Phyllis and Mr. Allen and hopefully await their return at some point down the road.

For everyone else, you should all have your assignments for tomorrow. Check your email or the extensive hard copies posted outside the HR office.
 
Swallow your food after thoroughly chewing it up.

Later on today, it will be fun time with family, fireworks, good music, and barbeque (with charcoal of course, as it's the only true way to grill, baby).
 
Chewing it up and then swallowing Copenhagen (or any other cut of fresh tobacco, for that matter) will surely make you as sick as a dog.

Disagree, HOSS. The only way to BBQ is with a chord of good ol' pecan (or hickory) logs in the firebox of a smoker, and a cooler full of ice-cold Miller Lite next to your chair. A bit of the devil's lettuce is also recommended, but completely at your discretion.
 
 Jerky is a specialty of the world famous home of the beaver.

It's a cord, huh? Ah, well. I never have to spell it in the day-to-day operations of the property. Sorry about that, partner.
 
The little guy got lost during the family breakfast at band camp but we managed to reunite him with his family.

Happy Independence Day everyone. Good to see all the volunteers doing their thing around the campus today. Stuart was initially supposed to sing the national anthem this morning. We managed to get some of the lovely young library interns to substitute on short notice.
 
His family entertainment plans for the PowerWorld Independence Day celebration were dashed when my petite blonde intern, Kayla, showed up in a teeny red, white and blue bikini and upstaged the library interns by singing the anthem in a sultry, sexy style reminiscent of the birthday serenade famously offered to President Kennedy by Marilyn Monroe.

Afterward, she and Constance performed a memorable show, for mature audiences only, at the PowerWorld Gentlemen's Club.
 
Marilyn Monroe, combined with Charles Manson, did make for some Sweet Dreams in the 90's, although he never was 80's sitcom co-star Paul from The Wonder Years.

Just one of those wive's tales that got a bit outta hand.

i thank you for owning up to the whereabouts of my heifer, CT. I was rather ticked about going out there and finding only an open pen, and a cut rope. It's been a catastrophe here, having to use store bought milk. Make sure one of them brings the cowbell home, too. If you'd be so kind.
 
A third wheel was put on the pick-up truck after I ruined the first two by running over a full case of long-necked, ice-cold beer bottles that had been carelessly left discarded along the side of the road home.

They may not break hearts, but they sure as hell puncture tires. All three cases were Budweiser, so no great loss there.
 
The road home is paved in gold or, in the case of anywhere in Texas, beer bottles, cow pies, cowbells and anything from Buc-ees.
 
Beer bottles, cow pies, cowbells and anything from Buc-ees do their respective parts in helping to make Texas the greatest place to live.
 
Consider yourself home when your name is on the mortgage or lease.

Sorry to have missed Stuart announcing his departure from the game, again. The over/under on his return is August 1st. The odds makers also say there is a better than 50% chance that he will show up under a new name just so he can keep tabs on what he's missed.
 
Lease agreement for our unused pens, formerly known as the Cotton Belt Corral and Horse Exhibit, is currently being negotiated.

Due to the current non-disclosure agreement in place, I am unable to tell you who the interested party is, but my understanding of the first objective he has is to rename the area "Durham Downs". Myself, well I'd have gone with "Phyllis Phillies", but it ain't my hard-earned redneck bucks being spent here. I've also been made privy to a rumor, through way of the heifer, our friend from Massachusetts is quite suspicious over the impending name change.
 
Currently being negotiated among all parties involved in this tangled cow-canoodling situation down in Texas is an agreement that will establish precise hours of access to Constance for all, but getting everyone, human and bovine, on the same page is proving difficult.
 


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