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Fantastic word game

An agriculture wing in the PowerWorld headquarters sounds like a fine idea to me and, if my ultra-sensitive ears aren't deceiving me, I hear the muffled sounds of a softly and sadly clanging cowbell being rung in a padlocked far-off barn in the hope that such a project can actually happen.
 
Happen to know the answer, I do, to the age-old question of who came first.

Unfortunately fer y'all, however, I've sworn not to discuss it.
 
Speech may not be performed in our typical human dialect, but a critter can very well tell you what they want, need, or require, if you just take the time to listen.
 
My intern's day was partially spent tuggin' and squeezin'.

Even rechristened her a milk maid, due to her magically finessin' fingers. Same young lady as CT's intern, y'know. Mighty fine, hardworking lil' gal right there.
 
In 1979, I was but a wee 8 year old junior redneck causin' Mama Rose's patience to rapidly wear thin in the kitchen, as I was always buggin' her to let me lick the spoon.
 
Misbehaving (actin' up, as rednecks everywhere prefer) was dealt with courtesy of Mama Rose and a switch.

...and God forbid you cut one of yer own that never seemed to meet her minimum size requirement.
 
A switch is flipped, the lights go on, and the audience erupts in wild applause as rosecitymedia, WMC2006, CTListener and Kayla the Petite Blonde Intern take the stage to announce the establishment of the PowerWorld Petting Zoo, Farm and Dairy Bar, along with the long-awaited return to TFWG of the rural hijinks this game was once known for.
 
For shame, dear Linguistics Czar, a thought such as that would ever cross your mind.

The redneck's word is his bond, so I can't have no part in that, by golly, but I surely wouldn't deter you from doin' yer own thang.

I'll be here in the Fantastic hallway of PowerWorld LLC. keepin' the cozy, plush, corner office unoccupied, and simply guffawin' at yer boudoir emanatin' hijinks (hi-jinx, as the Book of Redneckery mandates) from the shag-carpeted floor, if'n you need me.
 
Old TV shows, movies, and music are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to useless information taking up space in the redneck's head.

Go ahead. This ol' hayseed has a thick enuff shell.
 
Barnyard animals have never been harmed in the continuing saga that is Fantastic Word Game.

One specific barnyard animal did suffer from a disastrous disappointment during a late-night rendezvous, but I'm purdy sure we don't need to rehash that debacle.
 
Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania will star our own High Chief Kemosabe in attendance, and he will perform the traditional rain dance of our people that morning, chasing away all of this blasted cold weather.

It's still gonna take a solid 6 weeks though, folks.
 


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