Being elected Pope someday is rather unnecessary fer you, dmargalotti, 'cuz yer already the highly-respected Padre (Die-rector o' the Early Mornin' Contributions, some others prefer) 'round here, n' yer the only one who is keepin' us Fantastic miscreants from gettin' completely hell-bent n' whiskey bound.
It's a thankless job, I know, but could you imagine the darkened roads we'd end up travelin' on if you weren't here to provide us heathens with a lil' dash o' much-needed spiritual counterbalance?