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Fantastic word game

The Texas barnyard (n' its resident ramblin' redneck, of course) sure 'nuff appreciates the endorsement from The Vermont Boudoir n' its occupants o' exquisite linguistical style.

Brings a lil' tear to this ol' worn-out plowboy's eye, I'll tell you what. I sure hope my Talmud wudn't scripted by them there Babylonians. I ain't lookin' to have my redneck empire crumble.
 
Exquisite linguistical style can be found in the Book of Constance (or Book o' Constance, as Hayseedim prefer), which includes passages that scholars compare to the Psalms of David.
 
David v. Goliath was one o' them Biblical stories that never added up fer me, 'cuz had I been that towerin' giant lookin' down at a lil' guy who was merely holdin' a slingshot, I'da just stepped on the bastard n' gotten it all over with.

Just sayin'...Goliath mighta been big in stature, but a tad lackin' inside his monstrous cranium.
 
Gotten it all over with is what I'm sure dmargalotti (The Padre, as rednecks prefer) hopes we've done with all this sacrilegious Bible/barnyard banter by the end of the day, seeing as how it's Sunday.
 
Sunday prayers that this latest banter has played itself out have hopefully been answered because, if not, I'll just sit it out until it's done.
 
Intelligent design (or Design, as people unfamiliar with the rules of capitalization prefer) is a purely human concept, so how can it be applied to the works of a supposed entity that no one can know or understand?
 
Understand that I'm not against God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, or any other aspects o' the deity, but I ain't just gonna be fed horse meat n' told it's filet mignon without, logically, havin' a few questions fer the chef.

Some o' the stories in there are just mind boggling to me, I'll tell you what. Case in point, Samson. You'd think he'd o' figgered out what that lil' hussy Delilah was up to after the first time the Philistines came callin' at the front door lookin' fer a fight.
 
The chef refused to admit that some of the ingredients for his latest culinary creation were obtained from Mister Ed's Freezer o' Doom even when he was presented with evidence obtained from the kitchen's video surveillance system (VSS as some prefer).
 
The kitchen's video surveillance system (VSS as some prefer) also records WMC's nightly escapade to the unguarded fridge at Miss Silkie's, whilst ev'ry one else is in the dorms sawin' logs, fer a big ol' heapin' helpin' o' Tasty Tidbits.

You know, a $5 Master lock would go a long way in assistin' scanman in keepin' PowerWorld's overall food costs down. It's been a game changer fer me in keepin' raccoons outta the critter's feed. It might be a cheap solution fer y'all executives, too.
 
"Chances Are" was a big hit in 1957 for yet another celebrity who would be surprised to learn he is a TFWG clue, Johnny Mathis.
 
The holiday season means the Salvation Army guy must be standin' outside o' my local grocery store, wearin' his half-hearted Santa outfit, n' ringin' his lil' bell while he's freezing his tookis off.
 
Freezing his tookis off is ok with the bell ringer because he knows he is doing his part to support those who need it.

I have a longstanding open invitation from Miss Silkie and the lovely young library interns to raid that Tasty Tidbit fridge any time I want to. I'm well aware of the video surveillance system. Have you never seen me waving at the camera?
 


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