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Fantastic word game

Yours truly has arrived on scene to post my own Early Morning Contribution following CT's Early Morning Contribution.

Good Morning one and all.
 
CT's Early Morning Contribution, as hilarious as it was, gave out a toll-free phone number that is all-too-familiar to me, and piqued my curiosity enough to call and find out exactly what kind of a hat is being offered?

After getting my hopes up and making the frantic call, I found out that it was nothing but a constant busy tone on the other end, so, instead, I picked this up bad boy from the local marketplace yesterday afternoon.

This yellow monstrosity is a 20-gallon hat, and I'm a little wary of putting it on in front of you guys. I test drove it last night. The results, well, God help us all when I place it back upon my cranium. The apostrophes, the missing letters, the sheer river of Miller Lite beer that was consumed.

The search continues for a decent Stetson 10-gallon, but we'll certainly have a lil' fun with this oversized version, when it's time.
 

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Exactly what kind of a hat is being offered is directly proportional to how much you are willing to pay, because you get what you pay for.
 
You get what you pay for when you visit Fantastic Word Game, and if, for any reason, you are not completely satisfied with your overall experience here, we cordially invite you to contact one of our world-famous customer service representatives and let your voice be heard.

Please be aware, all reps are paid out of the general fund that is collected from your entry here.
 
Let your voice be heard by ordering the Fantastic Word Game (TFWG as all but a selected few prefer) by placing a call to 1-800-GET-TFWG.

I wonder if that's a real phone number? Remember what happened with 867-5309.....
 
A call to 1-800-GET-TFWG may get you far more than for which you bargain, given the business listing is actually associated with some hole-in-the-wall place called "GET The <bleep> Wet, Girl.

We certainly wouldn't want our audience to do that, Ed, and this would be just one of the many reasons why I insist on using the correct form of the game's abbreviation, FWG.

I'm sure glad Dave isn't here, at this very moment, to witness such blatant misdirection on Ed's part, and unbridled debauchery on mine.
 
Girl, you might want to say a prayer or two before dmargalotti and mrs. dmargalotti return from their personal international band camp expedition (if you know what I mean).

And I think you do!
 
Their personal international band camp expedition (if you know what I mean) might have been to the kind of camp rosecitymedia would enjoy if they'd seen this suggestive license plate in the parking lot.

The Padre must've been praying for that girl's soul all the way home ....
 

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The parking lot of the new Illusions is unavailable today as some local scouting troops are presenting a carnival to raise money for their adventures.

Parking is available next door at the site of the original Illusions.
 
Home is where the heart is, or so I've been told, but it sure isn't where my hat is, currently, and it is driving me a little bit crazy.

Ok...crazier than normal.

Welcome home, P...P...P...Dave. Please allow me to brief you on what has happened in your absence. The ornery, old codger in Texas has lost his hat. I've looked high and low, near and far. Even had a couple of decent leads, but nothing...and I mean nothing has panned out thus far.

As a result, I am now stuck in this nightmare of proper speech (well, as proper as most Southerners can get), punctuation, and the rapidly increasing discomfort of a sun burnt dome. I can't even get out a P...Pa...😖...Dave.

I'll take one of those prayers, if you've got the time and desire. Help the Stetson find a way home to the ranch. I earnestly thank you in advance. If anyone can summon up a miracle, I'm hoping it is you.
 
It is driving me a little bit crazy to see so many people up in arms over a logo change when the real issue with Crackle Barrel is that their lousy food and terrible service are the real issues.

RCM, sorry to hear about the missing Stetson. While I was raised Catholic, I have not been one in good standing for more than 40 years now. I mention this because the Catholics are famous for having a patron saint for just about everything. I am sure they've got one that could aid in the search for your missing chapeau. I will do a little research in the Vatican archives and let you know what I come up with.
 
The real issues with Cracker Barrel started when they painted some of the rocking chairs rainbow.

That's where the trouble really reared its head with the conservative masses. I've been a Barrel-hater for many years prior. People really do think that mess is authentic "Southern cooking".
 
Core motivation for me to swear at my phone's screen (not so much at Dave, per se) comes from scribing one of those long-winded contributions of mine, and then having to scratch all of it out and come up with something else altogether.

Much ob...obl...obl...

🤬

Thanks, Dave. 😊👍
 
Different rules of English punctuation seem to have been used in dmargalotti's latest contribution and I'll have to penalize the Padre (P-p-p-p-, as the tongue-tied, hatless Texas redneck prefers, at least for now) for his unnecessary comma after "be" and his erroneous placement of a period outside the quotation marks.

Fixed!
 
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