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Fantastic word game

When the movie was released, "JD and the Cow" was thought to be a purdy good idea, but that mindset was quickly changed after Lola found out that the only part really puttin' the hind ends o' the masses into the-a-ter seats was the promise of fresh, Grade-A, Texas-sized hamburgers bein' offered at the conclusion of the film.
 
At the conclusion of the film, dissatisfied moviegoers were overheard grumbling that the whole thing was a derivative bovine takeoff on the 1979-81 TV series "BJ and the Bear."
 
Bear with this ol' hayseed while I ree-search the redneck archives fer this "BJ and the Bear" show, 'cuz I thought I our po-tenshul movie was gonna be a simple spoofin' o' Clint Eastwood's "Every Which Way But Loose".

Lola rides up front, shotgun, in the ol' Chevrolet pickup truck.
 
Every Which Way But Loose characterizes how the Denny's-sponsored, permanently-guarded mechanical bull tries to eject his riders.
 
A bucking good time may very well be had by its riders, but I know a certain pair o' syrup-laden attendees who'd just as soon tell all o' those patrons who might dare to take a turn on the infernal tin can to "go buck themselves" in rather short order.

They are a patient pair o' patrons, up yonder in the Listener Lodge (Vermont Boudoir, as common rednecks pre-fer), but I would reckon that after all this time o' plottin' n' schemin' to rid us o' the mechanical bull, that the patience is runnin' mighty thin.
 
In rather short order, I have popped on here to leave my own personal Early Morning Contribution (EMC as most prefer) even though today's official EMC has already been submitted.
 
Today's official EMC has already been submitted, n' I'll tell you fer sure n' certain that any more o' these here Excessive Methane Clouds bein' spread nearby ol' Lola will die-rectly ree-sult in an immediate change in her diet.

Whew! That's purdy dern rank, Lola.
 
The trick is, I reckon, to get the nutrition to go die-rectly into her fourth compartment, cuz from the scent o' things 'round the barn, everything in her tummy must be gettin' hung up somewhere 'round number two.

Now, how you go 'bout accomplishin' that feat is far above this here farm boy's capabilities. Ain't many table scraps to be had 'round here. Plenty o' Miller Lite beer, though.
 
The first loser in the race to stay atop the mechanical bull was CT who kept trying to correct the bull's sentence structure while trying to withstand a few extra how-do-ya-do's to the groin.

Nothing like a few dangling participles to get that bull going.
 
A few extra how-do-ya-do's to the groin can be had from one o' those loose as a goose lizards roamin' 'round the back lot o' the Love's truck stop in Van, but it'll cost you.

If yer unsure o' the process, just ask fer John. He'll guide you through.
 
It'll cost you a stern lecture from Miss Silkie and long stretch in the pen should you try to introduce one of those lizards to any of the PowerWorld band camp kiddies.
 
Kiddies are not the type o' subject material this ol' hayseed's willin' to intertwine into the Love's truck stop storyline, so I'll just take a sip o' a frosty Miller Lite n' pre-tend that we didn't nearly meander down that pothole-filled road.

Jumpin' gee willikers, Linguistics Czar. We sure don't need no files bein' ree-leased on either one o' us.
 
Down that pothole-filled road came a mysterious van that stopped just outside the main gates to band camp, idled for a few seconds, then took off as some of HOSS scanman's security team approached.
 


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