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FCC extends list of banned 4-letter words

A

AKLes

Guest
This time it's "john"; a common term for a toilet....and we all know what THOSE are used for!

The edict, reported on a DC-based blog, sent numerous politicians in search of legal name-changes in time to appear on coming primary ballots.

Some found themselves with a false start, asking the courts to change their name to "Jack".

The FCC was quick to react, ruling that "jack", too, had to be banned because it is too closely associated with the expression: "You don't know Jack $xxx!" ($xxx representing yet another unspeakable word).

The cost of revising promotional/branding material for hundreds of "Jack" formatted stations is expected to run into the millions.

Several points remain unresolved:

1. A proposed exception for religious broadcasters who want to quote from The Gospel of Saint John. An initial suggestion was that preachers be required to run together the words "Saint" and "John" without pause so the listener would hear only: "Saintjohn" as a single word.

2. An extension of the ban to include "jon" because, when spoken, it cannot be differentiated from the forbidden "john".

Senators McCain and Kerry quickly joined forces in threatening congressional action to overturn the FCC decision though the majority of their colleagues would not comment, being unable to stop laughing long enough to put two coherent words together. A Fox News commentator expressed the belief that the incoherency was not unique enough to warrant a special report.
Other senators, including Warner, Thune, Ensign, Kyl, Rockefeller and Whitmire, were struck dumb and did not respond to reporters' phone calls. Senator Edwards threatened a lawsuit but most John-free legislators dismissed that as merely a trial-lawyer knee-jerk response.

Supreme court justices Roberts and Stevens told reporters that had not been approached on the matter but would have their offices staffed 24/7 so they could intervene quickly should anyone ask.
 
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