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Great Words of Wisdom by Radio Engineers

T

Tynosaur

There's been so much engineering talk here lately that I feel we programmer/production/on air types need to poke a stick into the fuzzball cage just to hear 'em hiss.

Let's get Memphis in May off to a great start by posting examples of the deathless prose we've heard from engineers over the years in response to calls from us when something died and we needed help.

I'll start with the most ubiquitous one:

"What'd you do to it?" (Variant 1: "Were you drinking coffee or a coke in here?")
 
How about...

"Don't tell me you actually sprayed Lysol on the windscreen while it was STILL ON THE MIC!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MIC COSTS? YOU WANNA BUY A NEW ONE?"

Ah...the good times! ::)
 
OK. Dumbest thing I have ever heard an "engineer" say (close to a quote; it has been a while):

"Well, I found the problem. We blew a 20 amp fuse. I didn't have another 20, so I put a 30 amp in."

Geeeez.

DE
 
Use it till it fails.

If I knew what was wrong with it it wouldn't be broken.

PUSH A BUTTON! ANY DAMN BUTTON!

So if it only does it when you do that, don't do that.

Because the CD goes into the machine label side up.

No, we have nothing left here to play your library of carted bits.
 
DeadElvis said:
OK. Dumbest thing I have ever heard an "engineer" say (close to a quote; it has been a while):

"Well, I found the problem. We blew a 20 amp fuse. I didn't have another 20, so I put a 30 amp in."

Geeeez.

DE
Click to expand...
Maybe not so dumb..... consider the following.

We need more information on this one. IF the 20 amp rating was real close to the actual draw then maybe 30 is OK as a temporary.
If a 30 amps holds, then there is likely no short circuit, which would also kill a 30 instantly.
I would hope that individual circuits would be checked for overcurrent.
If a filter capacitor is getting leaky, it may cause higher current yet still not be "failed".
I would expect hum in this case if the bad filter were in a audio circuit.
If the bad pwr supply is for some kind of control voltage, there wouldn't be hum, yet all the control circuits would still work with some AC on them.
If additional load has been added to the circuit since the 20-amp fuse was specified, then the 20 amp rating is wrong.

Sometimes, in order to quickly find the fault, a higher amperage fuse may be installed and "fire watch" instituted to see where the smoke comes
from. The ever-popular smoke test.

I am hoping this engineer considered this a temporary or "investigative" repair.
 
Engineer: "Your computer is freezing up and shutting down because the power supply is overheating".

Solution:  "I took the side panel off to allow for better circulation.....I'll put in another power supply when I feel like it". 

.......that was at least 2 months ago and the side panel is still off.....but power supply has not overheated anymore. 

Tynosaur, I'll bet you can guess who that engineer was.
 
Related third-hand to me... Jesse Freeman talking to Skip Wilkerson about a transmitter/tower impedance match problem... "If we could just get those standing waves to sit down..."
 
> We need more information on this one.

No, no. Your take on this is FAR too sophisticated for this engineer. This was a permanent solution. I guess we were lucky he didn't just try a jumper.

This is the same guy who's answer to any transmitter outage was, "well, I better call Harris!"

DE
 
"Variant 1: "Were you drinking coffee or a coke in here?"

It was ok to have a coffee or coke next to a console when everyone was using RCA or Gates. Multiple slide faders are great for packing a lot of channels into a reasonable size area but they don't respond too well to liquids.

I've had to clean a Mimosa out of a PR&E RadioMixer. Not fun and I'm not even mentioning the hours the studio was down.

Dr. Bob
 
I'm quite happy to see nothing in this thread attributed to me :)


However, I can relate this late night conversation I had with a former WRVR overnighter in 1983:

Me: Hello?

Jock: Tom, THE BOARD'S NOT WORKING!

Me: What did you do?

Jock: Nothing...but THE BOARD'S NOT WORKING!

Me: You didn't do anything?

Jock: Well, a little coffee, but THE BOARD'S NOT WORKING!

Me: (fully awake now): OK, Stop. HOW MUCH COFFEE?????

Jock: About a half pot...BUT THE BOARD'S NOT WORKING!


We had to take all the cards out of a Pacific Recorders board, take the chassis down to the car wash and spray it down. And, being a jock, I never as an engineer banned drinks from the control room...I just asked that everyone used common sense....such as not setting a half POT full on the console.
 
While this has been around for ages, it's still appropriate for today's control room...​

ACHTUNG!
--------
Das machine is nicht fur gerfingerpoken und mittengrabben.
Ist easy schnappen der Sprinngwerk, blowenfusen und
poppencorken mit spitzensparken.
Ist nicht fur gewerken by das Dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken
sightseeren keepen hands in das Pockets.
Relaxen und watch das blinkenlights...​
 
"You’re not paying me $500.00 for the $0.10 capacitor I just put back in your transmitter to get you back on the air, you’re paying me for knowing where to stick it." 8)
 
Circa '68, we had some concerns about whether WHBQ's formerly world-class audio quality might have slipped a bit. So I asked
our CE if he could look at it with his instruments, or at least have the Xmtr op be sure everything was where it was supposed to be. Reply: "Can't tell a thing about it with this junk we play. But let me wait til Sunday midnight, and I'll bring down my
TEX BENNEKE records and make sure it sounds right." PS: He did, and afterwards, IT did.
 
Scooter reminded me of a time I had forgotten... when even 24 hour stations would shut down for maintenence overnight Sunday-to-Monday morning. I remember coming up from Jackson, MS to visit Rick Collins at WHBQ when he had the weekend swing shift. He would man the board for "Talk It Out" with Father Don, sign off at midnight, then bring it back on at 5 AM and do an hour before the morning drive jock came on at 6. By the time Rick moved up the food chain to 6 to 10 nights and I took over his slot, they did away with the down time, and that final weekend shift was straight through, 9 PM Sunday night to 6 AM Monday morning.
 
Rob, that "down" time was the only hope for us broadcast band DXers. The two DX clubs would actually get stations to come on during that period, for special "courtesy program" tests. Yep, there were engineers who'd give up some sleep, just so we radio freaks could have a better shot at "logging" (then, hopefully, "verifying") them at a time when the bands weren't clogged.
So now, there's no maintenance silent period, and most of the overnight programming is syndicated so IDs are few and far between. Wonder if anyone still DXes? And if they do, how frustrating is the hobby? ((Don't even get into: and back then, your postage--and the manners-demanded "return" postage--was only THREE CENTS each way. And that was even with having to help Daddy and the school principal re-set the five-mile road, so it was UPHILL going home, just as it had been that morning, coming to classes.))
 
Nowadays, AM band night DX-ing consists of... "I was able to pick up WXXX's digital hash interfering with the frequency where I used to be able to pick up WZZZ"
 
Hold the plate button in until the intermittently bad part burns up....then we'll be able to find it.
 
robgrayson said:
Nowadays, AM band night DX-ing consists of... "I was able to pick up WXXX's digital hash interfering with the frequency where I used to be able to pick up WZZZ"
Click to expand...

Very sad, and painfully true......
 
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