Hokey old local commercials

[Corky Marlowe]

"PAUL SHERRY CHEV-RO-LET...WE TRY HARDER!"

Dangit, I know I'm on this thread too much, but now "DeHaven Chevrolet...We Try harder!" is earwigging me.
Hope Les Paul got a few bucks for that long running ripoff of "How High The Moon".

 

[BobSacamano]

Anyone who grew up in the Baltimore-Washington area might remember (they were hard to forget) commercials for
Mr. Ray's hair-weave...the before & after pics, and of course the voice-over by Mr Ray himself,,

 

[FreddyE1977]

We had another one in Pittsburgh in the mid-70's for a chain of home appliance stores called
Wander. They had a Lynda Carter look-alike, dressed in a Wonder Woman costume that
made her look so much like Wonder Woman it made you "wander" where the copyright lawyers were.
She was billed as "Wander Woman", and would pitch the latest deals on washer-dryer combos
and 21 inch consoles. She would also appear frequently at street carnivals, community
fairs, ballgames, etc. As a pubescent boy in Pittsburgh at the time, if you were lucky
enough to run into Wander Woman, you had had a good day!

 

[Cincinnati Kid]

I remember a commercial shown on TV late at night here in the late 1950's which advertised some kind of lawn chemical which killed various weeds and bugs. It was a film made elsewhere and probably shown in numerous cities. It ran for approximately 13 minutes during which time it continued to repeat and repeat the various weeds and bugs the product would kill to ensure a property owner of a beautiful lawn while showing comic-like attempts by people to dig up weeds and other unsuccessful actions. I couldn't believe how this ad was.

 

[desertv]

More cheesey Phoenix commercials from the 70s-80s

Carpetime - with the heavily accented Eastern European gent attempting to cut through a roll of carpet with a saw..."What Time Is It? Ees CARPETIME!"

John F Lawhon Furniture - With the ads featuring Mr Lawhon himself pronouncing the stores name in a monotone Southern accent.."Jawwn Eff Lawwhonn"

Berge Ford - Bad stop-action animation with the "Forge Bird"

Sonoyta Motors - with the "Loan Arranger"-a fat guy in an all white cowboy suit and mask with his sidekicks the over accessorized "Carlotta Sales" and a donkey.

And....

Jack Ross Lincoln - with the former B-movie queen, the lovely Acquanetta!

 

[Tim L]

Channel 9 in Steubenville, Ohio, WSTV/WTOV, ran ads for a car dealer called Huebner Chevrolet in Carrollton, Ohio. The owner was a scrawny, shifty-looking middle-aged man with a cheesy moustache. He insisted on starring in all of his own ads in the role of a super-hero, Mr. Cost Plus....complete with tights, mask, yellow cape, hilariously cheap special effects, and acting by his employees that would not make the cut for the 8th. grade production of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown". Generally they used some "Perils of Pauline" plot where an evil competitor had a customer tied-up, ready to force them to pay sticker price, before Mr. Cost Plus arrived to save the day. He reminded me a lot of Milburn Drysdale in some of the more outrageous Beverly Hillbillies episodes. (This guy obviously suffered from the same malady that causes most of the American Idol contestants to show up at the tryouts). Those commericals ran for years and years, and were so incredibly bad, they were worth every moment of waiting for the commercial breaks!

Those ads also ran on WJAN-TV 17 in Canton, Ohio..probably one of their biggest consistent advertisers..Carrollton is about halfway between Canton and Steubenville..I believe Mr. Huebner was a born again Christian and a member of the Canton Baptist Temple which incidentally aired their services on both channel 9 and 17 for years. I imagine he knew the ads were cheesy..and just had fun with the whole thing..

 

[rwells2265]

The Gold Nugget Restaurant--I never had a chance to eat at this long-since closed establishment, but I remember the sports anchor from WBRC doing a sedate voice-over, extolling the virtues of the place as a cheesy instrumental of "Dear Heart" played in the background

I have a vague memory of that one .... Tom York talking about something-or-other "of renown", wasn't it?

Another Birmingham spot that comes to mind is Dick Reese Organs, circa 1977: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4J53UlWuiY If you remember the "Tex & Edna Boil" organ parody on SCTV, this is the kind of thing they were making fun of.

Having spent a number of years in smaller television markets, I've seen commercials that make Jim Skinner Ford look truly highbrow.

Chip Ellis Motors (started in Montgomery, but appears to have migrated to Birmingham - my sympathies, Charles) takes the "used car salesman" stereotype to a new level: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weXvz_kVmvo

Jonesboro, Ark.: The area gets CBS and NBC out of Memphis, but the city has its own ABC station, KAIT-8. I was in college up there in the mid '80s, and remember the days before Cosmos/Liberty bought the station. LOTS of hinky local spots, with middling production values. One good example, for a local barbecue joint (best 'cue in Arkansas, though): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzW-1p8Kx-8

Their local weathercaster at the time (who appears at the beginning of the above BBQ advert) also did commercials for a local grocery store chain, "Hay's Super Warehouse Foods", dressing up in leotards as "Super Warehouse Foods Man" as John Williams' Superman theme played. Also, Hay's had a location in West Memphis, and bought some time across the river!! Late one night I saw the same commercial on the Memphis NBC affil (WMC-5) .... watching it on Channel 5 really drove home just how not-ready-for-primetime KAIT-8 was 20+ years ago.

*********
Elsewhere in Arkansas: Gwatney Chevrolet in Jacksonville (suburb of Little Rock). In the '80s, this one guy did all their commercials in an over-the-top "blowing chunks" delivery. "GWATNEY CHEVROLET in JACK-son-VILLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!" My diaphragm hurt just watching.

The national spots for Aamco Transmissions airing in central Arkansas were tagged with promos for two different Aamco locations/managers, then ended with a deep echo'ed: "THE MEN OF AAMCO-CO-CO-Co-cocococococo!!!!!!"

*********
Here in Savannah, there used to be some TV commercials for Springfield Ford in nearby Rincon. The (now-deceased) owner - a short guy with an almost Jewish-like accent, would point to the camera and say, "Who do YOU know who vants to buy a Splingfield Ford??!" He'd appear with an elephant behind him -- "Enormous savings" ... then cuts to him holding a white mouse in the palm of his hand: "eeeety-beety prices .... NOW who do you know that vants to buy a car?"

*********
I'd have to enter Dothan, Alabama in the running for "bad TV capital of the world" honors. Two stations, a CBS (WTVY-4) and an ABC (WDHN-18). King's Furniture comes quickly to mind. It's a family affair -- in the '70s the children of the owner appeared in the commercials, then they grew up and now the (brother-sister) pair did the commercials, with their own children. The gimmick is, "If you find an identical item anywhere else, we'll match the price and give you a TWENTY DOLLAR BILL!!!!" Haven't seen the spots since 2000, when I left the area, but the image of the little 3-yo kid screaming 'twee-dah-biiiiiiiiiill!!!" is forever seared into my memory/sanity.

Speaking of Dothan, Red Holland is in a class by himself. He hosted an early-morning hunting/fishing show for years on WTVY (and I think he's now doing his thing on WJHG-7 in Panama City, Fla. ~80 miles south of Dothan). Many in the Alabama "wiregrass" and Florida panhandle worship the guy. And Red does most of the commercials in the program himself, sometimes three spots in a break, all done by him. Red Holland is the love child of Crazy Eddie and one of those "mountain men" in Deliverance. His theme song tells all you need to know, before you even see him: Ray Stevens/HH5+2 "In the Mood."

I have some Red Holland shows from the '90s on tape ... I really need to post some examples to YouTube, because you have to see Red Holland to appreciate (?) what I mean.

--Russell

 

[Tim L]

Another ad I thought of also on WJAN-17 Canton.."Jim Bushman's Aqualine Water Company"..A Water softening/salt company..His voice was NOT made for radio or TV..His phone number was xxx-0008..which he pronounced xxx-ought-ought-ought-eight..Really corny-but he lasted for years..

 

[Stanislav]

I'd have to enter Dothan, Alabama in the running for "bad TV capital of the world" honors. Two stations, a CBS (WTVY-4) and an ABC (WDHN-18).

WDHN, to me, should also be nominated for "cheesiest physical infrastructure." They are still (at last report) in their tiny original building with a short little 500' transmitting tower right out back. The gaudy, colorful marquee sign in front, coupled with the general boxy and decrepit appearance of the building, makes it look for all the world like a cheap 50's motel instead of a TV station. I think they do pay their employees in U.S. currency now, but only because Green Stamps went out of business.....

 

[Aljr]

2.)Kash Amburgy (from "South Leb-ba-non, Ohio!")
"Follow the signs...follow the cars to Kash's Big Bargain Barn....save cash with Kash!"

LOL!!! He had the platform he rolled things up on and then pushed 'em down a a ramp.

He rolled his wife playing a piano up there once,yelled "Take it away Mabel!" and gave it a shove. The piano and Mabel went flying down the ramp off screen into the wings with a loud bang. One of the funnier things I've seen on TV.

When I think WGN I think car dealer R.L.Duke. He'd have some woman in a tight dress go walking by,the line in the bumper music would go "My! What a classy chassis" and the camera would cut to R.L. rolling his eyes following her across the lot.

"Come on down let R.L. give you a deal.
It's Duke,Duke,Duke,Duke,Duke......"

 

[easttxtv]

DFW had ads from Westway Ford in Irving, their mascot was Mean Joe Greed. He had a white suit, a big cowboy hat, and OVERsized glasses with sparkly dollar signs in each lens. There were also the same kind of dollar signs on the suit. The actor was actually the owner of the dealership; he has since sold the business and no longer appears in Westway's ads. A helpful YouTuber has saved some for posterity (these 4 also show a locally-known wrestler of the time, the Dingo/Ultimate Warrior)....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UG88H6MbF-c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXI8UE56ci4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_qoRfmcZY8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaSsMLD2XyY

Strangely, this one shows a similarly-suited man at the end (camera aiming down from overhead) cutting up someone's credit card bill, but surely not the same actor...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JpBRXk-Gg8

More hokieness and twang, from Rodeo Ford, featuring TV/movie actor Burton Gilliam...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG1EikHOmEQ

Even hokier, with disco instead

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2m4xt0xInc

A spoof, by the suburban Middlekauff Ford in Plano

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CVPi1ayq0I

In a recent strange twist of irony, the owners of Rodeo Ford recently acquired Middlekauff! So despite not needing it in the spoof, it ended up assimilated as Rodeo Ford of Plano, with the extra recently-added tagline

"Five miles west of downtown Plano, five miles east of downtown Dallas!" Hokier than ever....

 

[kirkiefan]

"PAUL SHERRY CHEV-RO-LET...WE TRY HARDER!"

Dangit, I know I'm on this thread too much, but now "DeHaven Chevrolet...We Try harder!" is earwigging me.
Hope Les Paul got a few bucks for that long running ripoff of "How High The Moon".

Believe it or not the DeHaven Chevrolet jingle(which was the same melody as the Paul Sherry jingle) was first aired on WOWO in Fort Wayne. It was later that year (1972) when Paul Sherry's jingle was first heard on WMVR in Sidney, Ohio...obviously somebody there took the cue from WOWO.

 

[Corky Marlowe]

Believe it or not the DeHaven Chevrolet jingle(which was the same melody as the Paul Sherry jingle) was first aired on WOWO in Fort Wayne. It was later that year (1972) when Paul Sherry's jingle was first heard on WMVR in Sidney, Ohio...obviously somebody there took the cue from WOWO.
1972? Maybe my internal timeline is off, but it seems like that one goes back a lot farther. They even did versions with 2 different addresses, the old one on South Calhoun and later, 5200 Illinois Road. And yes, that one ran on WOWO forever, along with "Lawn-Boy Lawns Are The Level Cut Lawns, They're The Level-Cut, Level Cut, Level-Cut Lawns!"

 

[KeithE4]

Jack Ross Lincoln - with the former B-movie queen, the lovely Acquanetta!

One very good reason for her appearances in Ross' commercials: Acquanetta was Mrs. Jack Ross.

 

[radiorob2.0]

Lexington, KY had a few worth mentioning....

Bob Hobbs was famous for his Furniture World commercial including his version of the "Nestea Plunge".

Stereo Warehouse was known for their owner doing his commercials in front of a bad chroma-key image of his store. The commercials would always start with an voice yelling, "Hey Jack, what's the story?"

More of a Cincinnati tradition but we got a "Buddy's Carpet Barn" in the late 80's with the late Buddy himself doing the commercials.

 

[Ultimajock]

...just remembered -- for decades Milwaukee has had Ernie Von Schledorn http://youtube.com/watch?v=xC8qoFbRLDs who, in typical Milwaukee-ese, asked, "Who do you know wants to buy a car?"...

 

[firepoint525]

In the late '80s in Paducah, Kentucky, when I live close enough to there to see their local commercials, Larry Stovesand was doing commercials for Paducah Ford. Fast forward nearly two decades, and I'm living here in Nashville now, and Larry is now here doing spots for Rivergate Lincoln Mercury! He's following me around! This guy is a hoot! He obviously does his spots in one take! He did one for some of his used cars, and in one, he admitted he didn't know what kind of car (specifically) that it was! He just said "it's some kind of Honda!" He just seems to get carried away in his advertising! Either that, or he tries to cram in more information in 30 seconds than he should be trying to squeeze in!

http://www.buyfromlarry.com

 

[rwells2265]

WDHN, to me, should also be nominated for "cheesiest physical infrastructure." They are still (at last report) in their tiny original building with a short little 500' transmitting tower right out back. The gaudy, colorful marquee sign in front, coupled with the general boxy and decrepit appearance of the building, makes it look for all the world like a cheap 50's motel instead of a TV station. I think they do pay their employees in U.S. currency now, but only because Green Stamps went out of business.....

I love that sign. The original 1970 marquee, complete with vintage "colored-letters" ABC logo. The stick is original, too. Maybe the cameras, too. I wouldn't be surprised.

Although I wouldn't go so far as to say the coffee is 1970 vintage, either, but you never know.....

And "Green Stamps"? Noooooo, channel 18 didn't go high class like that; we're talking "Plaid stamps" here.

--Russell

 

[fortmill]

Richmond VA's usually bland TV scene was enlivened throughout the 60's with ads for "Mad Man Dapper Dan, The Used Car Man." The dealership's motto was: "He would give them away, but his wife won't let him."

 

[MACK184]

While I don't know if they used the same jingle on television as they did on radio, there was a car dealer outside of Detroit..Art Moran Pontiac that used the song Barbara Ann and weaved in the name "Oh Art Moran..Oh he's the man..Oh Art Moran..1 block north of 12 mile road on Telly-graph Art, Art..Art, Art Moran..Art Moran..