P
PowerCow106
Guest
With Dan Patrick's departure next week, the last touchstone to the "glory days" of ESPN Radio from 1997-2001 will have left. All that are left now are smarmy jerks like Doug Gottlieb, John Seibel and Mike Greenburg. Here now are some suggestions that ESPN Radio would be strongly encouraged to follow to restore themselves to the greatness they achieved in the late nineties:
- The following "talent" will be fired and permanently blackballed from Bristol:
Colin Cowherd
Eric Kuselias
John Seibel
Freddie Coleman
Mike Greenburg
Jeff Rickard
John Kincade
Andy Gresh
Amy Lawrence
Ryen Rusillo
Jason Smith
- All hosts will be forbidden from talking about non-sports issues (i.e. family, politics, etc).
- Monologue/discussion segments will be restricted to the opening segment. For all other segments in which a guest is not scheduled, the host will be required to take calls from listeners. Also, callers can talk about whatever they want, sports related, and hosts will be forbidden from doing a "Todd Wright" and limiting callers to only one segment of the show and only about whatever topic that the host wants to talk about. If a caller wants to talk about the Kansas City Royals, than the host will be forced to humor the caller and talk about the Royals with the caller. A giant banner that reads "TREAT THE CALLERS LIKE GOLD" will be hung in every studio.
- The Pulse/Gamenight will be replaced with "Stat Night" hosted by ESPN Fantasy geeks Mike Yam and Erik Karabell. The two men will break down the night's games as they happen and approach the show from a statgeek perspective. Frequent (nightly) guest hosts will be derived from statgeek websites like Football Outsiders and Real Hoops GM.
- Mike and Mike will be renamed "Bob and Mike" with Greenburg being replaced by Bob Golic. The producer with the afro will be fired. The show will now revolve around the "humor" of the conservative family-man Mike Golic and his hardliving, party-hardy brother Bob.
- All Night with Jason Smith will be replaced by a daily broadcast of "The V Show with Bob Valvano"
- Krystal Fernandez will be hired away from Fox to replace Amy Lawrence.
- John Stashower and Bob Picozi will be promoted to weekend hosts and replaced by former WEEI "Flashboy" Sean Grande.
- Colin Cowherd will be replaced by a "roundtable" show featuring Ron Diaz & Ian Beckles out of Tampa's 620 WDAE and WEEI Boston's Gerry Callahan and Glen Ordway (the "Whiner Line" will become a part of every ESPN Radio show).
- Dan Patrick will be replaced by XM Baseball's "Night Train" Ronnie Lane.
- The following "talent" will be fired and permanently blackballed from Bristol:
Colin Cowherd
Eric Kuselias
John Seibel
Freddie Coleman
Mike Greenburg
Jeff Rickard
John Kincade
Andy Gresh
Amy Lawrence
Ryen Rusillo
Jason Smith
- All hosts will be forbidden from talking about non-sports issues (i.e. family, politics, etc).
- Monologue/discussion segments will be restricted to the opening segment. For all other segments in which a guest is not scheduled, the host will be required to take calls from listeners. Also, callers can talk about whatever they want, sports related, and hosts will be forbidden from doing a "Todd Wright" and limiting callers to only one segment of the show and only about whatever topic that the host wants to talk about. If a caller wants to talk about the Kansas City Royals, than the host will be forced to humor the caller and talk about the Royals with the caller. A giant banner that reads "TREAT THE CALLERS LIKE GOLD" will be hung in every studio.
- The Pulse/Gamenight will be replaced with "Stat Night" hosted by ESPN Fantasy geeks Mike Yam and Erik Karabell. The two men will break down the night's games as they happen and approach the show from a statgeek perspective. Frequent (nightly) guest hosts will be derived from statgeek websites like Football Outsiders and Real Hoops GM.
- Mike and Mike will be renamed "Bob and Mike" with Greenburg being replaced by Bob Golic. The producer with the afro will be fired. The show will now revolve around the "humor" of the conservative family-man Mike Golic and his hardliving, party-hardy brother Bob.
- All Night with Jason Smith will be replaced by a daily broadcast of "The V Show with Bob Valvano"
- Krystal Fernandez will be hired away from Fox to replace Amy Lawrence.
- John Stashower and Bob Picozi will be promoted to weekend hosts and replaced by former WEEI "Flashboy" Sean Grande.
- Colin Cowherd will be replaced by a "roundtable" show featuring Ron Diaz & Ian Beckles out of Tampa's 620 WDAE and WEEI Boston's Gerry Callahan and Glen Ordway (the "Whiner Line" will become a part of every ESPN Radio show).
- Dan Patrick will be replaced by XM Baseball's "Night Train" Ronnie Lane.