Humorous radio stories

[JPA]

I hope everyone will contribute their 'best worst' experience - bad things happen in stations big and small and I look forward to reading some humdingers.

In the late 80's I owned WDGR Dahlonega, GA. The station's studios, transmitter and tower were all located together, with the tower being in the middle of the 5 acre property. The station was (where else?) - Radio Road, and the land behind the station was fenced. Trying to keep the field bush hogged was a job, and after didging snakes for a summer I decided on a solution that would pay me. A local farmer needed some grazing land for some cows, and we struck a deal where I'd keep his cows inside the fence where they could effectively keep my tower field mowed. After getting paid for keeping the cows fenced and fed for 7 months, I was quite pleased.

One afternoon I heard a loud pop from inside the station and we immediately went off the air. I headed out the back door where I saw a small fire in the middle of the field. As I went down the steps with an extinguisher I noticed the rail was dotted with red paint, something else to fix. I noticed all the cows were bunched tightly together way down at the bottom of the field, and at the same time I saw to my horror, a cow leg and hind quarter lying next to my car. Further down inside the fence I saw another. A fire, cow parts - I couldn't put all this together, and as I looked at the back door I saw that the entire back of the station was dotted NOT with red paint, but blood. An extremely unlucky cow had bitten into the transmission line buried close to the transmitter building and 10,000 watts had literally blown it up. It was a pretty horrible sight, and also pretty hard to explain to everyone calling wanting to know when we'd return to the air. "We 'll be back on the air soon - a cow blew up and took us off the air."

I went back to bush hogging the field - the money I'd made from fencing the cows went to repairing the transmi$$ion line. Wild days, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I'm sure the cow would though.

Jay Andrews
VP & General Manager
Jacobs Media Corporation

 

[RFI_Guy]

Fantastic story Jay.
Now we know why transmission line is sometimes referred to as "feed line", huh?
It the site still there?

 

[taylorengineer]

I can't top Jay's exploding cow story but I have had my share of "roasted critters!"
Funny how high voltage sings a siren song to living creatures, big and small.
Didn't WDGR used to play bluegrass music?

 

[lilburncommunityradio]

Tom you have to at least share some of your stories.. Damn I know that you have some good ones. My post that shouldnt be in the 1190 am dark, section should have been here...

 

[radiobuff81]

Hey Jay!

If you're gonna tell funny radio stories, you HAVE to tell the one about the EAS test at z93. That one's a classic....dunno if it can beat deep fried cow, but still....

MM

 

[evnlee]

Tom you have to at least share some of your stories.. Damn I know that you have some good ones. My post that shouldnt be in the 1190 am dark, section should have been here...

I concur!

 

[ricksegers]

I know this is the Atlanta board but funny radio stories go beyond geographic bounds.
My favorite revolves around a new GM who came in and shall remain nameless. While at WALG/WKAK in the early 90s we had a problem with squirrels and power lines. About once or twice a year a squirrel would get on the wrong spot of the line, get zapped and Georgia Power would be called to re-set the transformer. There was nothing we could really do about it except sponser a squirrel hunt but we had learned to live with it over the years. Well it happened shortly after the new guy took over and he would not listen to anybody about anything and not certainly not about this. There was a large power box in the back room of the station that had a re-set on it about two feet long. As far as anyone knew, it had never been touched since the building was built 30 years earlier. He goes and grabs it and pulls it down and then when he goes to turn it back on it won't go up. GA Power comes out and re-sets and we still have no power..Thanksfully both transmitters were in outbuildings and had their own power lines but both studios and all the offices were dark. We pulled the Giant Boom Box (remember those) with its generator to the back door and ran a line to power the studios and the phone system (thanks goodness for solid state). There was no replacement breaker in town and one had to be flown in emergency status (collect) from Ohio. It was about 3 grand. I can still see one of the guys pouring diesel fuel in the generator while it was running. Despite all this, the man never once admitted he was wrong and told us not tell the owner.

 

[Wazzie]

Moderators... these humorours stories could be a new National board on Radio-Info. I think we all have something to share. Hell, I think I could right a book... and that's just on stupid GMs! (I had a GM back in the 80s that was upset because the promotional radios we were going to give away only had half the frequencies on them. "Who wants a radio that goes from 99.1 to 99.3? Where's 99.2?" ;D

 

[OgOgglby]

My favorite Atlanta radio story is the time the drug deal went over the air at WSB AM...and my favorite TV story, that I actually saw, was during the construction of one of the new Action News sets back in the 70's, I think. During a Johnny Beckman forecast, part of the new set collapsed off-camera. He calmly looked over and said "What the hell was that?". In those days, you didn't say "hell" on the air. The switchboard lit up with tons of complaints. I still wish Johnny were on the air.

 

[bnaivar]

Back in the 1970s I worked for KOGT in Orange, Texas. It's a 1000 wat AM station. We had taken a bad lightning strike and the transmitter was just back on the air after being repaired. The engineer forgot to ground the transmitter properly when we turned it back on but nobody noticed until our janitor walked past it with a four foot flouresent tube he was taking to one of the offices. As he passed the ungrounded transmitter it turned on in his hands. He stood there for a while with the lit tube apparently afraid to move. I had been taking transmitter readings at the time and I walked over to him and said "Walter, the next thing you do..... is wrong."

 

[hipporadio]

Jay’s tale about the ten-kilowatt bovine BBQ is utterly fantastic... Sorry—I couldn’t resist the pun

My story comes from WHON/WQLK Richmond, Indiana circa 1976. WHON was a live Top-40—WQLK was the fully automated FM play-toy for the station’s very eclectic GM who developed into quite the Patti Page groupie while working at WKDA in Nashville. He couldn’t imagine life in the Rose City without giving the gift of her music to the 100 or so people who actually listened to 96.1 at that time. The studios, AM-DA, and separate FM tower were just outside of town on several acres (cattle performed lawn-mowing duties there also—but fortunately the lines were buried). The facility was affectionally known around town as “The Radio Ranch”. At that time, the AM was a daytimer with a full-power PSA and FM shut down between midnight and 6AM.

I was asked to fill in for another part-timer one Sunday morning—running various religious and public service shows until Top-40 resumed at 9AM. My morning began with a highly-emotional “fire in the belly” Pentecostal preacher who performed his weekly radio ritual live from the WHON studios at 6AM sign-on. To call this man “excited” is somewhat benign—he managed to fracture TWO of the station’s ribbon microphones in the guest studio before the CE finally picked up a $14 Radio Shack dynamic model on a trip to redeem his numerous battery-of-the-month cards.

I arrived at the station, powered up both transmitters, kicked off Miss Patti and her friends on FM, turned on Brother Jim’s Realistic highball, then retired to the restroom for my “necessity”. Jim was really jumpin’ that particular morning—bellowing repeated references to “the fire of hell” and warnings that the radio faithful should expect Satan to move against him with such on that very morning as he saved the souls of greater Richmond. I was managing all this drama fairly well until the phone rang...

“Your station’s on fire” screamed a caller. I dashed thru and around the building to verify that no real emergency was occurring. Another call quickly followed—“You’re on fire!”... I responded “Yep, Brother Jim IS extra spicy this morning isn’t he?” I had been warned about prank calls from delusional rock ‘n roll fans who grew impatient with the Brother’s bluster... But they kept coming in. Finally one caller said “Your TOWER’s on fire”—“Yeah RIGHT I exclaimed” wondering how in the heck several-hundred feet of steel could be sprouting flames. That neighbor called right back, identified himself, and assured me that he WASN’T pranking me.

I dashed out the transmitter room door, and to my horror saw the top element of the FM antenna ablaze. WQLK employed radomes on each bay to shed ice. Several hours earlier, a hefty storm had rolled thru, and the FM had taken a hit which cracked a radome. Water had managed to collect and arcing began when power was applied to the system setting the synthetic cover on fire. Indeed—the station WAS on fire as the callers alleged.

I killed the FM rig and as I franticly called the CE, Brother Jim requested his mid-show gospel music break and entered the AM control room to learn of our station’s dilemma. You can surly predict how he played this event upon his return to the air. “Friends and neighbors out thar in radio lan-da... The Devil has indeed brought his wrath to this very station on this holy morning... This station I come to you on is consumed with Satan’s fire as I speak... I will stand against his evil and refuse to leave the air” he screamed.

I finally managed to stir the CE who wasn’t overly alarmed. “It’s just FM... Nobody’s listening... Just leave the damn thing off” he mumbled. [My how times change] Brother Jim concluded his radio service, handed me the envelope with his $100 time payment check, and I hit “play” on the Ampex 440—it was 6:30 and time for the very popular Indiana State Police Road Show

 

[JPA]

I laughed out loud at the preacher shouting the word "...lan-da." OK radiobuff81, here's the Z-93 Atlanta EBS test story.

Back in Z-93 Atlanta's (now DAVE FM) early 80's top 40 glory days, we ran EBS tests like everyone else. I'd left the station on a sunny Saturday and I wheeled my Vette into that great used book store on Clairmont Road and stayed in there about half an hour. When I came out the sun was gone and amazing purple clouds were overhead.

I had Z cranked up in the car and the song faded out to dead air. Dead air on Z-93 - like killing yourself one needle at a time. This was followed by sounds of someone fiddling around with papers off mic. I was transfixed and wondered what was going on in the studio when the EBS intro cart fired, "THIS IS NOT A TEST. STAY TUNED FOR IMPORTANT WEATHER INFORMATION AND INSTRUCTIONS FROM Z-93." More paper rattling and ambient mic noise followed, and then I heard this start very, very softly, building in volume:

"beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...heeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

I almost ran off the road. I'd give anything to have a tape of it. Over and over the jock ran out of air and he 'beeped' like this twice, then hit the outro cart back into music. No weather conditions or anything, just live beeping. After the next song faded he DID IT ALL AGAIN. I stopped and called the station hotline in the lightning and rain to ask him why was voicing the tone. "I can't find the tone cart." Well, there was so much wrong with that that I just drove to the station and explained where the toggle switches were to trip the EBS tones. I'll never reveal who it was, but if you listened to Z-93 in the summer of '83 and happened to hear it - you're fortunate. It truly is the funniest radio thing gone wrong I've ever heard happen, mainly because it was done so innocently and on such a very great major market station.

Keep the stories going here!

Jay Andrews
VP & General Manager
Jacobs Media Corporation

 

[hipporadio]

I laughed out loud at the preacher shouting the word "...lan-da."

The Devil probably found Brother Jim to be amusing, but I suspect he was getting really tired of Patti Page... So he brought “hellfire” to the FM tower instead

...OK radiobuff81, here's the Z-93 Atlanta EBS test story...

Jay... I had a healthy chuckle from your “exploding cow” story, but this one had me rolling on the floor. I’ve heard plenty of EBS tests run a-foul over the years—but your account is a first. We always used to humorously wonder IF that ever happened at some station in the sticks, but NEVER believed that it really would—let alone in a top-10 market!

Did you hear the “classic” about Top-40 KCBQ San Diego in the early 70s when they had Pams/Anita Kerr Singers turn the required EBS script into a jingle. Between the open and closing dialogue was the first bar of "Mary Had A Little Lamb" terminating in the sustained alert tone. Yes, “Super CBQ” got whacked good by Uncle Charlie... At least nobody died of water intoxication.

 

[radiorob2.0]

There's an aircheck of the Mary Had a Little Land EBS test produced by WLOF on reelradio.com

 

[Art Sutton]

My favorite Atlanta radio story is the time the drug deal went over the air at WSB AM...and my favorite TV story, that I actually saw, was during the construction of one of the new Action News sets back in the 70's, I think. During a Johnny Beckman forecast, part of the new set collapsed off-camera. He calmly looked over and said "What the hell was that?". In those days, you didn't say "hell" on the air. The switchboard lit up with tons of complaints. I still wish Johnny were on the air.

I was watching Channel 2 once and a monitor almost fell out the ceiling when Johnny was doing the weather. This may have been the same time. I don't remember Johnny saying hell but I remember saying...."geez....well I hope they are on our side." I could pick up Channel 2 with an outside antenna when I was growing up near Sylvester. It was pretty snowy but it was there.

Someone may remember the long time weather man at Channel 5...can't remember his name now...I'm thinking Hal Suit but may be wrong...he was once describing a cold front coming through and it was colder than the behind of a mule or donkey but he didn't say behind. I read somewhere the camera man lost it and viewers just saw a line rolling over and over the screen.

Then there was the time Channel 2 had former Georgia Governor Marvin Griffin on the air doing political commentary during election returns. If you never heard an interview with Marvin Griffin, you missed something. The voting machines in one of the major counties were messed up...and the returns were running very late and the host had run out of things to say. Governor Griffin was smoking like a chimney. So the host ask him "Governor, has there ever been a time when you didn't desire a cigarette?" Like Lester Maddox, Marvin was one never stumped for words. "Well, there was one time. My brother Chaney and I were out fishing on Lake Seminole (Governor Griffin was a Bainbridge resident and founder of WMGR Radio (Marvin Griffin Radio) and drinking some beer as is often the case when folks go fishing. Well, when you drink beer, sooner or later nature calls. While I was out at the bow of the boat answering nature's call, little did I know that brother Chaney was casting his lure. His lure captured me at a strategic point...and for the next few seconds, I didn't desire a cigarette." Without any reaction of his own, Governor Griffin took another drag on his cigarette. I read the entire set lost it. Marvin was the candidate who ran for governor and lost and when a reporter asked him what happened...his response was "obviously there were a lot of folks eating my barbeque who didn't vote for me." Marvin's son, Sam, is almost as good a story teller as his Dad and operates the family's newspaper, the Bainbridge Post Searchlight.

Some folks may not know that the Griffins lost a daughter in the Winecoff Hotel fire in Atlanta which to this day remains the deadliest hotel fire in America's history. I believe it happened in 1946 during a 4-H convention in Atlanta. She was still in school.

 

[littlejohn]

There's an aircheck of the Mary Had a Little Land EBS test produced by WLOF on reelradio.com

That appeared on opne of the kingle package demos - JAMS maybe? Started with the announcer; "OK, let's TRY to get it right this time!!!" and then a one finger "Maye Had A Little Lamb' which held the last note as the 1KHz tone from the old system. Some of the folks in the enfocement division Were Not Amused.

 

[RoddyFreeman]

Okay, folks, I'm going to qualify this by saying that someone told it to me.

Dick Broadcasting owned stations in Nashville, Knoxville and Birmingham. The CEO was Allen Dick.

Allen Dick married someone whose first name was Charlotta but went by "Lotta." Of course, when she married Allen Dick, she became Lotta Dick. And she apparently enjoyed introducing herself as Lotta Dick.

When they decided to get married, Allen suggested she use her real name, Charlotta. But she said everyone knew her as Lotta so she planned to keep the name.

 

[Stu Dio]

This was told to me by a staffer more senior than I when I worked at the station in Athens 36 years ago.
Sunday morning was the traditional live gospel music and preaching lineup. One client comes in with his backup singers and electric guitars. He’s using an electric guitar as well. They set the amps up in the studio and our board op lets ‘em rip.
It’s September, pretty warm, and since it was early in the morning, no one had turned on the AC in the studio where our preacher was holding forth. He gets going big time, works up a sweat. I mean, dripping sweat, running down his face and arms. He’s holding on to the neck of his guitar when he reaches out and grabs the microphone. Completes a circuit and starts to scream.
In the control room the board op has turned down the monitor while he reads the paper. But now he hears the scream (going on and on). He folds the paper and puts it down, puts on his headphones, and pulls his chair back into the slot and fades out the preacher as he opens his mike.
“One moment, please,” he says. Turns off his mike, takes off the headset, pushes back the chair and walks to the connecting door to the other studio.
The rest of the preacher’s crew is terrified, transfixed, positive he is having a massive spiritual experience. Our guy goes over to the AC plug for the amp to his guitar, yanks it out, turns around and walks out.
The preacher collapses on the floor while the rest of the group rushes to him.
Our board op goes back into the control room, pulls up his chair, puts on the headphones, opens his mike and says, “We now resume our regularly scheduled programming.” Kills the mike and goes back to the paper.
The preacher, after his show, signed up for another 13 weeks.

 

[lilburncommunityradio]

beatiful, just beatiful.. 13 more weeks of the screaming preacher, At least you never dealt with one who for a lack of better words"Smelled Like a Sweaty Dog"
at 7.00 am in the morning.. Those WACX days were the best... Ah-huh...

 

[OgOgglby]

Art, it was Guy Sharpe who, on a weather report, said "cold mare's ass" instead of cold air mass. He retold that one at the GAB Broadcaster's Hall of Fame luncheon several years ago. He was an original. Hey is Hal Suit (Channel 2) still alive?