> They might kill off Jack eventually, but they're not
> going to do it in Hour 13.
>
They can't kill Jack! And here's why:
- If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
- Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Seriously.
- If Jack was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice, then kill both dictators with his bare hands.
- Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
- Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
- Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
- Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
- 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
- Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
- If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're screwed.
- If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars.
- Jack Bauer's gun is actually a water pistol, but the water shoots out in the form of bullets. Why? Because the gun is being held by Jack motherf'n Bauer.
- When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
- Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
- While being put under in the hospital, Jack Bauer can count backwards from 100 every time.
- Don't ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar.
- In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
- Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
- As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"
- Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
- Jack Bauer can watch all 4 full seasons of 24 in 24 hours.
- Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
- Jack Bauer is the only man thus far to make Elisha Cuthbert call him daddy.
- You're either with Jack Bauer or against him. If you're against Jack Bauer, you're either dead or will be soon.
- Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
- In God we trust, but God trusts Jack Bauer.
- Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.
- When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
- If Jack Bauer was on Oceanic Flight 815, he'd have been off the Island with 23 hours & 59 minutes to spare.
- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Jack Bauer has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.