RADIO NIGHTMARES!!!

[gravelgertie]

This pertains to the men and women who worked in radio back during the days of carts and 45s....do you
ever have nightmares about something going wrong while on the air? I had one last night...my record was
ending, I couldn't find another 45 to cue up, I thought I'd punch off a commercial but the carts weren't filed alphabetically and I couldn't find the one I was looking for.. Finally, I woke up in a cold sweat. I hate
it when this happens and I've been having the same recurring dream for years. Just wondered if anyone
else suffers from the same?

 

[fussbudget]

No recurring dreams and no nightmares but that's not to say I didn't have a day or two like that. Carts that misfired, or played fast (no, it was not Alvin and the Chipmunks,) mislabled carts, 45's misfiled by the overnight jock and so on. Once, I couldn't get the cart in the darn machine no matter how hard I tried. there was some sort of obstruction and I was left with no choice but to go on with a live read...and no copy. I learned to become a great ad libber!

 

[radiochic05]

This wasn't a nightmare but a true story.

A station where I worked broadcasted MLB games. The board op for the games was a "bored op," as in, he didn't like baseball. Typically, especially during pre-game, he would turn the speakers down as the format clock was predictable (show open, 1 minute introduction, commercials, 5 minute show content, 2 minute commercials, and so on) so he would spend time on the phone.

One night he was manning the board, on the phone as usual and suddenly sees the levels drop. He turned up the speakers and nothing. Thinking the audio was interrupted, he grabs the first commercial cart within reach. The spot was for a funeral home that opened with, "In your moment of loss..." The "interrupted audio" was a moment of silence for a baseball player that had died earlier that day. Needless to say, lots of drama caused by that one to the point the station GM had to come to the station that night to apologize during a commercial break.

 

[IFB64]

Ok, again a true story. Back "in the day" when we had our first "new-fangled" CD_player disk Thing in one of our cars (around 87-88). I was pretty punch drunk from not enough sleep, working morning drive etc. I drove home one day listening to the CD....the first song fades followed by several seconds of "dead air" between the tracks. Again, being punch drunk, I start hitting dashboard buttons in an effort to "get something on the air". (If even for only myself it seems)

Another nightmare...but true story, Not of the songs ending and having nothing ready, but fun none the less. My wife was working at a small market station. One of her duties was to train new weekend talent during her shift. (Mid days on an AC Station...perfect) Eventually, the new person would have to get some board experience before his or her first Sunday morning mid to 6 shift, so she would let them run the board for a while. This one guy gets ready to do his first seque....instead of hitting the next cart machine, he hits the mike switch...the mike is right in front of his mouth, and potted up....so when the speakers mute, he mutters directly into the mike..."what the F---, none of this s--t works..." After the song ends cold.

My wife flys around the console and starts the next event/kills the mike. The hotline rings...its the owner. The owner asks "did I just hear F--- and S--- on MY radio station? My wife answers 'Yes sir, you did" Owner says: "is it taken care of?", of course the only correct answer again is "yes sir..."

Ahh yes, the days before VT!

Of course being a small market needing some oxygen user in the building, this guy worked his first shift the following Sunday...with some valuable experience to carry with him. At least he knew where the Cart 2 fader was!

 

[ClarkKent]

I'm a little newer to the business than the days when you actually spun records, but I've had nightmares about work before. They all involved dead air and having to hurry to find what I'm looking for, but the studio had been changed around somehow and I can't find anything. Or in one case, the computer screen was playing cartoons instead of showing the cue list and wouldn't respond to anything I did. ;D

I wonder what it says about me that I've also dreamed that I was back at other stations that I used to work for, for some reason, and again I can't find something I'm looking for and having to hurry...but then I realize I don't work there anymore. ???

 

[amitherightcaller]

What about this scenario. You're coming out of your network news, roll the top of the hour jingle and then your first record. Instead of normal audio, the song is deliberately slow and dragging. First inclination is to
check the turntable speed, which is probably set at 33, but it's okay at 45. Next the music is potted down
and a cart is frantically slammed into the machine which dellivers that same off speed dragging audio. What
the crap is happening here! Well, this happened to me once up on a time. Seems we blew something in
our power sub-station and the current that was entering our building was only three-quarters of what was
normal causing everything to run at a slower speed. I though at that point I was experiencing my worst nightmare and hopefully I would wake up momentarily. It was real however. The station was a music station but for much of the next hour, until Georgia Power got us back on line, we debuted the first all talk format in
town.

 

[IFB64]

I'm a little newer to the business than the days when you actually spun records, but I've had nightmares about work before. They all involved dead air and having to hurry to find what I'm looking for, but the studio had been changed around somehow and I can't find anything. Or in one case, the computer screen was playing cartoons instead of showing the cue list and wouldn't respond to anything I did. ;D

I wonder what it says about me that I've also dreamed that I was back at other stations that I used to work for, for some reason, and again I can't find something I'm looking for and having to hurry...but then I realize I don't work there anymore. ???

Well, my excuse is: My sister dropped me head first on the kitchen table when I was 2-3, shortly thereafter....I became interested in radio. That in turn brought on the dead air/studio changed/no carts/no records nightmare (Why has George Noory not done a show about this...?)OK, show of hands: how many of us had a head injury when we were young? It is obviously a sickness. No other explanation works.

(the head injury thing shoves the issue onto someone else's shoulders...it works well)

 

[craig_ashwood]

Constantly.

 

[fortt3]

This pertains to the men and women who worked in radio back during the days of carts and 45s....do you
ever have nightmares about something going wrong while on the air? I had one last night...my record was
ending, I couldn't find another 45 to cue up, I thought I'd punch off a commercial but the carts weren't filed alphabetically and I couldn't find the one I was looking for.. Finally, I woke up in a cold sweat. I hate
it when this happens and I've been having the same recurring dream for years. Just wondered if anyone
else suffers from the same?

Couple of times a month!

 

[romer979fm]

like craig...I have the recurring radio nightmare every few weeks...usually some variation
of dead air...missing music/spots...no log...more dead air. always different: always the same!
latest was two nights ago, when I was dreaming I was working an overnight shift, had left the building at 3a
to show relatives around Nashville (?)...then realized it was almost 6am and had been not been on
the air for nearly 3 hours. (forgot to VT I guess). they never make sense, do they?

however...about a year ago...the NexGen system on WSIX completely crashed...and while I was
working live...I found myself with only a open mic working correctly:
no spots...no music...no sweepers...just me and the mic.
I took about 30 seconds to explain the "radio nightmare" scenario...and how it was actually happening.
had to dig up a few CDs from elsewhere in the room...which I did while explaining the scanario on air.
good thing the music library is also backed up on CDs in the control room.

probably not great radio, but I enjoyed it.

 

[Nashsound]

I'll chime in with IFB64. Been having the dream at least a few times a year ( it's been a while since I've done an airshift). But my head injury may be traced back to getting whacked on the head with a drum stick at a Foghat "Festival Seating" show in 1978... Chris R might say that explains alot.

 

[wombat]

i have those nightmares three or four times a year -- it's usually that the music log has got non-format songs on it, none of the cds are in the studio, the commerical log cart numbers don't correspond with any of the carts in the studio, some of the carts contain spots in foreign languages, none of the vinyl backup albums have labels on them...... AND I WASN'T EVEN ON THE AIR during my 12 year radio career!!!!! how crazy is that?

don't answer that.

 

[Bongwater]

This is a true story:

I was just finishing my weekend shift on a little one horse AM in Eastern WA when the next program, a "radio classifieds" was ready to start.

Usually, the host (who was also the weekday newsman) would have been already in the station at least a half hour earlier, consumed a few cups of coffee and by airtime, he was good to go. And he wasn't so bad...sober. He usually was, but on those weekend evenings, he could be a real pain-he actually got us kicked out of a bar once and I myself was barely sober enough to drive him home. But he was usually up bright and early Saturday morning and rarely (visibly) hungover. He was good and a good friend of the PD, so I bit my tongue (bloody) and put up with it.

Only on this particular morning, he was nowhere to be seen. No phone call saying "I'm going to be late" or "Somebody in my family just died" or even "F--- THIS STATION, I QUIT!" (Even that would have been better than nothing.)

Well, coming up to 15 minutes before the hour and sweating nuclear missiles, I called the PD at home.

Answering machine.

I called him again. left an urgent message. Still nothing.

I guzzled another cup of coffee and decided to grab this particular bull by the horns and do the classifieds show myself. It was a one hour show and I could fill it with second hand bargains, betwixt the few local retail sponsors (including a few for auction houses and second hand store chains like Value Village-how ironic) and PSAs. I even read the local newscast after the AP news. I ran the whole show myself. No board-ops, no producers, no frills, this was HARDCORE radio. For 60 minutes, I was dealing in everything from baby cribs, which I knew next to nothing about at the time, only asking "What it's made of?...And what kind of mattress does it have?" As my wife (many years later) having our first born commented "That was smart of you! You'd be surprised how many of these people jump straight to 'So how much is your asking price for it'"-which coincidentally, is how this newsman/classified host did it, all the way to cars, which I knew more about and I asked for a few more details there-even if the person selling didn't have much more of a clue. It was my first time ever hosting a call-in show and I pulled it off, tired and slightly raspy towards the end, with VERY good results.

The show, which could have not happened at all or ended in flames actually came out pretty good. I knew how to work the show-having watched this guy before and some callers even complimented me on the air in spite of the fact that when the guy did show up, 20 minutes later, he was drunk off his ass and actually passed out in the station lobby a few minutes later, bottle of Seagrams 7 in hand. His car was parked ("?") halfway in a ditch in front of the station. (Don't forget I had to deal with this too.)

Another weekender just came in for his shift just a few minutes later, noticing the newsman staggering into the door and hearing me hosting the show and he was just as terrified of the possible aural disaster, he saw this and called 911. They got this guy into the hospital until he came around. He was alive, but extremely intoxicated. The weekender thanked me for saving the morning, even as tired and beat as I was.

I thought maybe I would get some recognition, maybe at the very least a thank you from the PD - though I was actually looking for a promotion (I kinda thought I deserved it, considering I had been there almost a year and since nothing happened by this time beyond some fill-ins, I was already looking for a better gig. And considering how it all could have ended, I'd say my future with the station was kinda riding on this.)

I didn't hear anything until the next morning, when the PD called me and said I was FIRED (the PD even fired the weekender who stuck up for me.)

"For WHAT?!"

"You are NOT supposed to host the classified show!"

I tried to explain what happened, but he railroaded me every time I tried to get a word in edgewise. And then I finally let him have it before I slammed the phone in his ear. I didn't even come in to pick up my last paycheck. I was THAT pissed off.

The station owner mailed it to me a week later, with an extra $500 and said in an attatched letter that he was very sorry for what happened and that he had fired both the PD and the newsman/classified host-he also mentioned he was listening that morning. He explained it was the personal friendship between the PD and the newsman and that loyalty kicked their own butts. I knew the PD and the newsman/classified host were buddies, (But I'd have ended that in a heartbeat if he ever came in like THAT if I were the PD.) And he said he understood what I must have been feeling and that I was welcome to come back and we would talk about it face to face. He asked me to call him directly if I accepted his apology.

Smell an opportunity here? Yes, I did too.

I called him back and said that I accepted his apology and that I had no hard feelings against him or the station whatsoever. But in that week another station in Oregon had just hired me and unless he offered me a better position (I was even going to settle for a weekday overnight) I really had no other choice.

He couldn't...and I couldn't wait. So I left.

Looking back, I wouldn't be kicking my own ass so hard now. That gig in Oregon (which I ended up HATING even worse) didn't last six months before I quit.....

The moral of this story? Never underestimate fate......

 

[OgOgglby]

My horror story was having to train a new morning show team on the board, Nexgen, clock, etc. (Atlanta FM 100kw station). They only came in the Saturday morning before the Monday, didn't listen to what I was telling them, then I had to come in Monday morning to finish training them. They eventually were a decent team, but anyone with any sense would get more than 3 hours on a new board and new on-air software package. The first show sucked 'cause they just didn't listen!

 

[Marco53]

I haven't done any on air work for 10 years, but I still have occasional nightmares about things going terribly wrong in the studio and I just can't help experiencing the dreaded "dead air."

Usually, I'm at the board frantically searching for the next record to play to time out to the top of the hour break, and when I finally find it, the other record has ended and in no way do I have it cued up and ready to go, and as the seconds tick away, my timing is also screwed up.

Dead air prevails and I open the mike to speak, but there's something wrong with my throat and words slowly come out but with no sound.

I also have recurring nightmares about being back working at an FM station in a town I despised and I'm trapped there, spinning records for an eternity. That one usually causes me to wake up and pinch myself to make sure it was only a bad dream.

 

[taylorengineer]

IFB64 mentioned head injuries....
My parents used to let me chew on pencil lead to calm me. Were they wrong?
I also consumed probably what amounts to gallons of paste when I was a kid. Remember the white, sweet stuff?
I have dreamed of the amazonian wife of an owner I once worked for doing squats over my face while an Olivia newton John 45 plays at 33 1/3. When I wake up I have a strange craving for tuna.

 

[bnaivar]

I was taking meter readings one weekend at a daylight to dusk AM station during a Southeast Texas thunderstorm, when lightning struck the towers and blew the transmitter to smithereens. Finals blown, a hole in a circuit board you could put your fist through, etc. The station owner lived in a house next door to the station and was in the station in about one minute after the lights went out. I still have nightmares of standing there,surrounded by smoking equipment, trying to explain to the owner that it wasn't my fault.

 

[radiodork]

Like most everyone in this business, I too have had those nightmares where the CD wouldn't play, the song wouldn't fire off the computer, the cart machine kept eating my carts, and I'm left with the mike open doing a little, "hommina hommina hommina" as I frantically try to fix everything. But I've got one nightmare that will top the standard "broken record" dream.

As my career went from music radio to talk radio, my dreams shifted to talk radio problems! Usually the mike WASN'T on, there's dead air, alarms going off, my producer isn't listening to me screaming at him to turn the mike up, and the ONLY thing that plays is commercials! I guess it doesn't matter what format or what role in a station you play, anyone can have these nightmares!

 

[BSteve]

I'm glad to know other folks have that recurring dream of records running out, etc. I still have them occasionally and I haven't worked a radio show in 20 years. It seems the only records I could find when one was ending were LPs that obviously were in the reject pile. No one had ever heard of them. I also had the problem of rushing to the AP machine at the last minute to pull some wire copy and read a newscast. Someone had always forgotten to reload the paper and the machine had been running without for hours.

This really happened. At one time I worked with an announcer who had only one arm. Well, he had a stub. He had blown his hand off playing with fireworks. But, he had a good attitude about it and would make jokes about it at times. He didn't have a problem cueing records and turning pots up or flipping switches.
One morning he came in looking more disheveled than normal. This was back in the day of Top 40 and WABC was a hot station. Fast delivery...tight cues. This guy said he had been dreaming all night he was working at WABC all by himself during a shift, and he was worn out.
He looked and sounded like he had been through the ringer.

 

[amitherightcaller]

Hey Steve, the guy with one arm, was his name Dave? If so, small world isn't it?