I just saw the trends and the following is what came to mind when you ask how do radio stations get this point.
All right now, everyone listen up because its lesson learning time, direct from your good friends and neighbors at Archway Broadcasting Group...(otherwise known as the experts in broadcast buffoonery). Ok, here we go.....
Now lets talk CHR, if your CHR is tanking (that's programming speak for falling like a lead balloon), then here is what you do....
1st thing out of the shoot is, you ditch your morning team...especially if they got game and need only to be coached by a PD that knows how….then you replace them with Bob & Sherry who hang with 35-54 females on Soft AC radio stations, but that don’t matter so don’t worry! You heard me right....and whatever you do, don't you back-talk me or I’ll stop this lesson on a dime! Now you’re just going to have to trust me on this…OK?
Oh...I almost forgot, disregard that candy-ass theory that morning drive sets the tone for your station for the rest of the day.....that's old school!
But.......WHATEVER-YOU-DO..... leave the music alone because the music don't matter...OK! You heard that 'ol saying don't touch that dial ...right....well, our saying here at ABG is ....don't touch that music! We sure like say’n…don’t touch that music!
OK...next... let's talk country OK.....1st and this is big-time to understand.....after you brand your country station for two years.....flip it to a country station with a different name....that's right ...you heard me.....don't argue with me or give me that look.....flip it to another country name, and get rid of all of the on-air talent and voice track and use stupid liners for about 3 months....OK! I know it sounds fool headed, but ya-gotta do it if ya-wanna make it in this bidness…trust me cuz I’m a pro at this……. hell I’ve played with the big-boys all over the place.
OK…..now...after you do that....start hiring some on-air people and gettin' them out on the streets and start connectin' with their PEOPLE! Then...now you gotta listen up here.... have your CEO come down and run off (that’s spelled r-u-n-n-o-f-t) the brand new morning guy for a minor on-air issue (heard while driving from the airport) that could have been easily dealt with by the PD.
Now, take off the midday guy (who has 15 years on-air experience in the market) on your Lite-AC format, that has no signal to get into office bldgs., (which is where all the old timers say the ratings come from for AC stations, but we here at ABG knows that can’t be right), then move him to afternoons on the newly named country station that you flipped to from the other country station that you branded for 2 years.
Now, after you do all that, then flip the recently flipped Lite-AC to a syndicated Christian AC…and make sure you don’t tell nobody about it….and make particular sure you don’t spend any money to market to them Christians, cuz everybody knows they get all crazy and such when they find out that another station is playing their Jesus music…OK.
OK…ya still with me…good…..now after you move that guy from the Jesus AC station to be the afternoon guy on the new country station, then make him the new OM of all the stations, and PD of the new Jesus AC station and your newly flipped and re-named country station. Then make sure you work his back-side off and grind him down to nothin’ OK….now let him be at that position for about…hmmm…let me see….about 4-6 months…then…fire him cuz he’s wore out anyway. OK.
Now, if you do exactly what I say, here is what you will have and I can guarantee it with total certainty…….here we go…
The newly flipped country station will have better ratings than your 20 year old heritage CHR…… And your newly flipped Jesus AC won’t have any ratings….which will give you a grand total market share for all the stations combined will be tied with the 7th rated radio station in the market. I know that sounds crazy but wait…it’s payday time!
Now, what that means in business is that your sales people will be able to sell without any objection around 5-10 dollar spots…then you will be able to put a choke-hold on the competition cuz the advertisers will be able to use your low rates to bring down the rest of the market. Now that’s what I call stickn’ it to the competition.
Now, I just passed on to you a few secrets that would cost a few million dollars…how do I know….cuz that’s how much money I’m going to walk with when my time is up here at ABG!
Now…you go out there and get’em!
