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Some Basic Radio Truisms

R

RoddyFreeman

The following truisms are simply a public service to everyone:

1. Nobody is born with the name Kelly McCoy.

2. Nobody is born with the name Dallas McCade.

3. Nobody is born with the name Lexy Kaye.

4. If your name is Maria Lopez and you work at a smooth jazz station, your name isn't Maria Lopez.

5. If your name is Greg Street and you do a nighttime hip-hop show, your name isn't Greg Street. (My mom's maiden name is Streett, and if V-103 were around back then, I would have told her to submit an aircheck.)

6. It's quite possible to have the name Steve Mitchell or Cynthia Young. But if you're on the radio and your name is Steve Mitchell or Cynthia Young, the odds are high that your name is not Steve Mitchell or Cynthia Young.

7. Are there such a thing as True Oldies? Does that mean there are false oldies? Inaccurate oldies?

I guess I just have too much free time today.
 
You can sum up college radio in 5 words:

"Dead air, um, dead air." ;D
 
In our heart of hearts, Neil Millman will always be the program director for 92.9 Radio Atlanta. ;D
 
If you're doing a request show and you play a song from a core artist, the request lines will immediately ring with people wanting to hear 2 other songs by that same artist. Next.

People will tell you they "listen all the time" if there's a prize involved.
 
1...If a girl calls you on the request line at 11 pm on Friday night and says she's 5'8" tall, blonde hair and blue eyed and is a model, then she's not a model...probably isn't blonde or blue eyed, or even 5 feet even. Moreover, she's probably on an iron lung twice a week.

2...If you hate the song, it will end up in power rotation. If you work 3p-7p, the song will be dayparted for 3p-7p ONLY.

3...If a light bulb goes out in the control room and you call the engineer to find out where the spare bulbs are, he will tell you to clean the cart machine heads first...even if you're digital.
 
1. No station takes 77 calls for the "77th caller".

2. No on-air personality is irreplaceable.

3. Nothing beats the book.

on a "lighter" note.....

A. Girls in Radio are Easy. thank goodness.
B. Guys in Radio are Easier. so i've heard.
C. You can entertain your grandchildren with stories.
example: Grandpa, back in the olden days, what was...
1. Morse Code.
2. Disc Jockey.
3. AM/FM.
4. HD/XM.
5. a control board?
 
1. You can always get a rookie to do something stupid like push a red button at the top of the hour to reset the pacemakers at the local nursing home (so I am told by Chris east and Jackie Steele).

2. True radio people love the business even though there is no money.
 
And then there's the case of Phil Terrana. If you used the name on the radio, you weren't born with it. But if you were born with it, you wouldn't use it.

And if you were born with the name Bob Smith, you'd never use it on air. Bob Smith became one of Atlanta's best known morning hosts under another name....
 
ssnake said:
And if you were born with the name Bob Smith, you'd never use it on air. Bob Smith became one of Atlanta's best known morning hosts under another name....
Click to expand...

Ooooh yeah. I know it. I know it. It's on the tip of my tongue. Uhh...

Gimmie a hint.

I hate getting old.
 
23) Booking comedians on your morning show before 9:00 a.m. is a VERY bad idea ... unless they are doing coke in the bathroom before going on the air!

24) There is no such thing as a "younger" radio audience between the ages of 13 and 25 ... they just don't listen to radio anymore!

25) Never follow a legend (hear that, Morning Mess, Murphy & McKeever and Drew Carey???) ... always follow the people who were fired after following the legends! :D
 
lilburncommunityradio said:
Twitch said:
In our heart of hearts, Neil Millman will always be the program director for 92.9 Radio Atlanta. ;D
Click to expand...
Yes,true... One of Atlanta's more positive people, Our favorite Program Director... hmmmmm.....Yes..
Click to expand...

Lilly, glad you finally came around.
 
Scott said:
1...If a girl calls you on the request line at 11 pm on Friday night and says she's 5'8" tall, blonde hair and blue eyed and is a model, then she's not a model...probably isn't blonde or blue eyed, or even 5 feet even. Moreover, she's probably on an iron lung twice a week.
Click to expand...

Or she's able to land you an interview with Chris Hansen of Dateline, with the local law enforcement waiting to meet you afterwards.

2...If you hate the song, it will end up in power rotation. If you work 3p-7p, the song will be dayparted for 3p-7p ONLY.
Click to expand...

So FREAKING TRUE!! And, if it's a song you LOVE, it'll get played once then taken out of rotation.
 
And the Two Rules for employees:

1. Don't schtup the help.
2. Don't schtup the groupies.

Almost everyone violates them once, to their sorrow. I say almost because >my< conscience is pure as the driven slush.
 
jhead said:
1. You can always get a rookie to do something stupid like push a red button at the top of the hour to reset the pacemakers at the local nursing home (so I am told by Chris east and Jackie Steele).
Click to expand...

I have no idea what you're talking about. ;)
 
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