That's all takes to get the true glory of Dori, er ... Doris.
Today's first topic was the mall shooting. One gang banger shooting two others. No more, no less. There was no random violence, no madman stalking through the plus size racks like a mall-sized version of Columbine. Yet there was Doris, her panties all in a bunch, yelping that if we were all armed, it would have never happened.
I think Doris has a point.
If you study history of the American west in the 1800's, it's obvious that once all the settlers and prospectors had weapons, the violence ended. I think Boot Hill was actually turned into an early ski run after the bodies stopped arriving. It certainly stopped the gangsters of the Roaring 20's - not counting Al Capone, who was known for his scathing put downs. And the fact there are 12 billion weapons around America has certainly cut down on violence today. I think all college students and teachers need to be armed; you never know when a nut job will show up shooting or maybe a paper will be graded unfairly. In fact, I'm talking to the school board to see if students at my kid's elementary school can be allowed to pack ... maybe just BB guns. Still, if a crazed shooter breaks in during their nap time, a well-aimed Red Ryder can take out an eye!
Honestly, she sounded positively twitchy at the thought that Detectivie Doris might be on the scene of a crime and come to the rescue of a cowering populace. It would be a ratings booster. Maybe not as effective as pimping out the invisible fence for his dog Star (funny that he would pick that name - "Star." Hmmmmmm) but good radio, nonetheless. I think the show needs a new name, something snappy like "In The Crosshairs With Doris" or "The Afternoon Reload With Doris" or even "Doris Monson's Daily Head Shot."
Might work.
Until then, keep your powder dry. Wait ... hold on ... I think I hear a thug from the CD right outside my traded-out house!!!
"Honey? Fetch my Glock that I got from Cabel's, a great place to get the just-right gift for any gun nut this Christmas!"
Today's first topic was the mall shooting. One gang banger shooting two others. No more, no less. There was no random violence, no madman stalking through the plus size racks like a mall-sized version of Columbine. Yet there was Doris, her panties all in a bunch, yelping that if we were all armed, it would have never happened.
I think Doris has a point.
If you study history of the American west in the 1800's, it's obvious that once all the settlers and prospectors had weapons, the violence ended. I think Boot Hill was actually turned into an early ski run after the bodies stopped arriving. It certainly stopped the gangsters of the Roaring 20's - not counting Al Capone, who was known for his scathing put downs. And the fact there are 12 billion weapons around America has certainly cut down on violence today. I think all college students and teachers need to be armed; you never know when a nut job will show up shooting or maybe a paper will be graded unfairly. In fact, I'm talking to the school board to see if students at my kid's elementary school can be allowed to pack ... maybe just BB guns. Still, if a crazed shooter breaks in during their nap time, a well-aimed Red Ryder can take out an eye!
Honestly, she sounded positively twitchy at the thought that Detectivie Doris might be on the scene of a crime and come to the rescue of a cowering populace. It would be a ratings booster. Maybe not as effective as pimping out the invisible fence for his dog Star (funny that he would pick that name - "Star." Hmmmmmm) but good radio, nonetheless. I think the show needs a new name, something snappy like "In The Crosshairs With Doris" or "The Afternoon Reload With Doris" or even "Doris Monson's Daily Head Shot."
Might work.
Until then, keep your powder dry. Wait ... hold on ... I think I hear a thug from the CD right outside my traded-out house!!!
"Honey? Fetch my Glock that I got from Cabel's, a great place to get the just-right gift for any gun nut this Christmas!"