The Horror Stories

[SandySanford]

So, let's hear em... Give us your horror stories from this business. Here's mine

In the early 90's I was working at KORI-FM in Logansport, LA (licensed to Mansfield)... Besides doing like all other small market radio people, (mornings, news, traffic, sports, pbp,) my "real job" was sales. I remember one Friday when the VP/GM walked in and said, "Sandman, I have enough money this week to pay you or Chase. You pick." So we paid Chase. The next Friday I was paid for two weeks and the check bounced. Sooner or later they got it taken care of... But a few months later it would happen again. It's not that the sales weren't there... they were. We just operated with some expenses that didn't have anything to do with radio. (That's a long story)

This is the same station that the studios had a crack in the slab, so everytime in rained... You guessed it... we got several inches of water in the building. There is no smell like that of sour carpet!!! To this day I still pick my feet up before I turn a mic on, so I don't get shocked. (Can you say Pavlov's dog?)

But you know what... We had fun. We learned a lot... And we helped a lot of kids get their start. (One is a CC PD/OPS MGR in FLA) (One is a comedy writer for a radio syndicator) (One is a KRMD jock in S'port) et al.

 

[radioman1380]

This is an On-Air horror story. My first radio job was at a 5k AM in central Illinois. The station had a morning newsman who, before he left around 1pm, would record a newscast for the afternoon drivetime guy to play on the hour at 3, 4 & 5pm. This was back in the early 70's when we used reel-to-reel tape for recording. A short way into the newscast, the newsman had a catch in his throat and said "s--t". Instead of rewinding and starting over, he just let a few seconds pass and started again with the newscast. Only one problem, he forget to tell the afternoon guy to bypass the first false cut. Therefore, needless to say, when the afternoon guy cued up the newscast tape and hit start, listeners heard the newsman get a catch in his throat and say "s--t". The newsman happened to be in his car at the time and just about ran off the road. Fortunately for him, he didn't get fired.

I still have a copy of it!

 

[musicsweep]

I worked for MRS Ventures....I have 2 1/2 years worth of horror stories...which one do you want? 8)

 

[DouglasB]

I worked for MRS Ventures....I have 2 1/2 years worth of horror stories...which one do you want? 8)

That's OK. Maybe we should all chip in and get you some "couch time" with a good therapist. 2 1/2 years? Glutton for punishment???

 

[creativemedia]

But you know what... We had fun. We learned a lot... And we helped a lot of kids get their start. (One is a CC PD/OPS MGR in FLA) (One is a comedy writer for a radio syndicator) (One is a KRMD jock in S'port) et al.

How much you said them hot dogs is?

I have been fortunate in that I don't really have any horror stories from radio, per se... but that was because I spent most of my radio years under a great & very talented PD/GM. =)

 

[SandySanford]

OH!!!! When we were at KDET in Center, Texas the "Production Fairy" used to come in on Sunday and put spots in. Because back then, some sales people would put their spots on a cassette and someone would have to put them in the automation system.

Well, one time someone burnt the spots in off a cassette tape and either didn't listen while they were doing it or they were out of the room for a second...

ANYWAY, Monday morning comes and all of the church people are listening to "The General Store." I will never forget where I was at when I heard us go to commercial break and the spot started. The announcer messed it up reading the script and said (Quote) "Awwww Shit... get it right you **** sucker... Okay here we go in 3-2-1... blah blah blah..."

The board op was out back enjoy a fine Phillip Morris product and he didn't make it back in time... good news was, the second cut was clean and good.

Needless to say, we had a new "policy" that afternoon about listening to the spots as you put them in.

 

[SandySanford]

Oh Yea ... I can't forget the poor kid from Converse, LA who worked for the same price as them hot dogs because he wanted the experience.

He worked for the REAL Minimum Wage, he worked for FREE

 

[radioman1380]

When I started at that 5k AM in central Illinois back in 1969, I got paid $1.65 an hour. But I would have paid them to let me be in radio. I learned a lot over the years from some great people.

Maybe the buck 65 is a horror story, too!

 

[Rich Moellers]

My first radio job was as a teenager at KCLA/KZYP in Pine Bluff in 1987. Charlie Okle trained me one night. Minimum wage (but probably would have done it for free). I did weekend jocking and a coach's show - and got to go to remotes dressed as "Nosy the News Hound." I'm glad to have at least be in on the tail end of pre-computer/CD player AM music jocking and to load those Revox reel-to-reels up on the FM side.

One day (before some bright person came up with "Nosy") I got pulled in to work the board during a remote. Royce Wolfe kept saying "come on, give it to me, come on, come on, come on" over the MARTI while I had him in cue, but I had a record going. Just as soon as it ended, I quickly threw it to Royce, potted him up, just in time for him to say, "Oh, s--t, I'm not ready!" I cracked the mike, said something that sounded like "schgrumph" and hit another song.

Of course, there have been many, many more - but that was my first...and you always remember your first.

 

[u-j]

Rich--

Any idea where Royce is? I worked with him at KCLA also (about a hundred years ago). That was not only pre-computerization but Pre-CD.

 

[Ramblin]

Where to start, really... Since KCON's been the subject, how about one from there...

My first morning gig. We did a lot of 5-10-15 minute programs...old time radio, coaches shows, news, sports, etc., from various sources...reel, cassette, cart, live. And, my first couple of weeks I could NOT get everything to work out the way it was supposed to. A cassette would get eaten, a cart wasn't cued...SOMETHING would always go wrong.

Finally, one day, everything was going smoothly. I intro'd everything perfectly, all the carts were cued, the cassettes were clean, the news guy was ready, it was all good....until it was time to go to the last show...the "Old Time Radio" show on the Magnacord across the room. It had to be loaded, then put into play/pause in order for it to be started remotely from the board. I read the intro, hit the remote start, and the tape began to play...normally at first, then faster, and faster, and faster, until it went into complete fast forward mode.

That's when I muttered aloud "Sonuvabitchmotherf***er", in a frustratedly serious tone. Then...I reached over and closed the mic. Then...I started looking at the phone for any lights to come on. Luckily they didn't. Guess nobody liked Jack Benny.

 

[Media Mogul]

State playoff time came rolling around, and I was dispatched by station KARV to do the play-by-play for Dover's road game...

We went to the town, and I was informed that I would call in the game and it would run tape delayed behind the Russellville game. For whatever reason the tape delayed broadcast was going to be picked up by our sister station..

We got to the stadium, and the people there made me pay to get in, and would not provide rosters or a program, or a place in the pressbox. Needless to say, I was pissed... First break comes, and I turned to the girl that was with me and went on a tirade about the fact that we couldn't get so much as a power outlet. I made reference to the "heifer at the gate forcing me to pay..." I thought I had turned my microphone down...

So we're walking out, and the aforementioned gate attendant and friends were cleaning things up, and listening to the tape delayed broadcast and were just as giddy as could be that their kids were on the radio...

We walk out to the parking lot and I am probably ten feet away from the gate, and I hear loud and clear over the boom box at the gate, "We'll be back in one minute"......*pause* *headphones slam on the table* "I can't believe that we come to this hell hole and this *blankety blank* stadium and that *blankety blank* heifer at the gate made us pay to get in and I can't even get the kids names with out a *blanking* program.... These people can kiss my ass..."

Needless to say I couldn't believe that not one, but two board ops had missed the break and my tirade had been aired on three radio stations. But I guess no one was listening because I never heard a word about it from anyone... I always turn my microphone down these days!

 

[Media Mogul]

State playoff time came rolling around, and I was dispatched by station KARV to do the play-by-play for Dover's road game...

We went to the town, and I was informed that I would call in the game and it would run tape delayed behind the Russellville game. For whatever reason the tape delayed broadcast was going to be picked up by our sister station..

We got to the stadium, and the people there made me pay to get in, and would not provide rosters or a program, or a place in the pressbox. Needless to say, I was pissed... First break comes, and I turned to the girl that was with me and went on a tirade about the fact that we couldn't get so much as a power outlet. I made reference to the "heifer at the gate forcing me to pay..." I thought I had turned my microphone down...

So we're walking out, and the aforementioned gate attendant and friends were cleaning things up, and listening to the tape delayed broadcast and were just as giddy as could be that their kids were on the radio...

We walk out to the parking lot and I am probably ten feet away from the gate, and I hear loud and clear over the boom box at the gate, "We'll be back in one minute"......*pause* *headphones slam on the table* "I can't believe that we come to this hell hole and this *blankety blank* stadium and that *blankety blank* heifer at the gate made us pay to get in and I can't even get the kids names with out a *blanking* program.... These people can kiss my ass..."

I turned around and saw about ten sets of eyes staring at me and the aforementioned heifer's husband starting to walk toward me at a quick pace. We made a rather quick exit and a rather quick dash for the interstate when we got out of the parking lot.

Needless to say I couldn't believe that not one, but two board ops had missed the break and my tirade had been aired on three radio stations. But I guess no one was listening because I never heard a word about it from anyone... I always turn my microphone down these days!

 

[musicsweep]

Okay, here's one.

I was the play-by-play voice for the Palestine (TX) Wildcats. After losing a heartbreaker to Henderson (Who was #10 in Texas at the time) my partner and I were packing up the equipment.

Everything was fine, until we went to Crockett to broadcast that game. While unpacking the equipment, we noticed the power cable to our console was missing. With less than 1 hour before pregame, we panicked and went to radio shack. The shack didn't have the type power cord we needed, but they had the components to make one. So I bought them...and a cheap $10 speakerphone, just in case.

Anyway, I jerry-rigged a power cord right there in the press box and hooked it up. Wouldn't you know it....it worked!

Anyway, we phone to the station...only to find out that our sister station in Henderson found our power cable right there in the Henderson press box. Needless to say, we were in trouble.

However, our quick thinking saved our butts.

Right after football season was over, MRS went down hill fast and became the deep hole it is now. Happy trails!

 

[Rich Moellers]

Rich--

Any idea where Royce is? I worked with him at KCLA also (about a hundred years ago). That was not only pre-computerization but Pre-CD.

I caught the first thing smokin' out of Pine Bluff after high school and haven't really kept touch with those folks. Royce, Charlie and "Rockin" Jeff Ramsey were the guys who taught me the basics - and for that, I'll always be grateful. All of the part-timers were fired on the same day in 1989 after one of them (not me) defaced the property. I'm pretty sure I know who did it ... and he was probably fueled by some substances. I hold no grudge - that which doesn't kill you just makes you stronger, right?

I never played a CD on air when I was there, either - just records and carts. I think Jeff had just started using CDs on Zyp 99 when I left there. The worst thing we put on the air was the late night "concert" show. That's where we played an album start-to-finish then played cheering crowd noise in-between the songs.

You can argue "good old days" before computer automation - but I can think of a hundred times when a cart wasn't cued up and you started it in the middle of the spot ... or your record skipped ... or you mis-timed while "taking the Browns to the Super Bowl" and let the record run out on the air. That's when Royce would come in and say, "You're playing the label!"

When I came home from ASU for the summer, I worked at KOTN, primarily overnights. It was a common practice among part-timers to put on a long song, hop in your car and head to the EZ Mart down the street to get a snack. The PD, fed up with one jock's repeated use of the 14-minute long version of "Do You Feel Like We Do" by Peter Frampton, scratched the record with a razor (why he didn't just put the album in his office, I'll never know). The part-timer (again, NOT ME) put it on one night and headed to the EZ Mart - and of course, on the way back he heard "Do you feel... do you feel... do you feel..." over and over, as the needle was stuck. That's also when he found out that he had left his building key inside the building and was locked out. He broke out the glass in the front door to get back in.

He got fired. I got his hours.

 

[rwells2265]

I caught the first thing smokin' out of Pine Bluff after high school and haven't really kept touch with those folks. Royce, Charlie and "Rockin" Jeff Ramsey were the guys who taught me the basics - and for that, I'll always be grateful. All of the part-timers were fired on the same day in 1989 after one of them (not me) defaced the property. I'm pretty sure I know who did it ... and he was probably fueled by some substances. I hold no grudge - that which doesn't kill you just makes you stronger, right?

Ahhhh, the great Raley Purge of '89. I remember it well. Someone put "KCLA" in giant letters in pencil on the wall between the salespeoples' office doors. You may remember I was doing graveyard, having being sent there after my KZYP morning show laid a giant egg.

What's funny is, the GM said if nobody came forward and 'fessed, everyone who worked between the hours of 12 noon Saturday and 6:00 a.m. on Monday would be fired. Funny how that didn't include Royce's and Wendy's shifts on Saturday morning, but included MINE on Sunday night.

Lucky for me I didn't have to find out. I "caught the first thing smokin' out of" Apple Street and took an interesting gig at KPBA. Literally minutes passed between my presenting Jeff Ramsey with my resignation memo and Karen coming in, discovering the wall, and going ballistic.
Jeff's words to me I'll always remember: "You're not leaving under a cloud of suspicion." Uh huh. Yeah. Sure.

Had Karen asked me outright, I'd have told that @#$%, "No, I didn't. But if I'd done so I sure as hell would've have put 'KCLA' on that wall .. I would've SPRAY-PAINTED 'KPBA'!!!"

Karen Raley was ahead of her time. Today she'd be right at home managing a corporate cluster.

I never played a CD on air when I was there, either - just records and carts. I think Jeff had just started using CDs on Zyp 99 when I left there. The worst thing we put on the air was the late night "concert" show. That's where we played an album start-to-finish then played cheering crowd noise in-between the songs.

"In Concert." Gawd, I did my share of that "program." CDs began being used on the live ZYP-99 shows early in the summer of '88. A cheap consumer-grade Emerson, I recall.

And those KCLA turntables and the original 1946 KCLA board - program to the left and audition to right. Sheesh. The tonearms tracked at about 20 pounds, and that - combined with the late '80s cheap pressings - made for some serious cueburn on damn near every record played.

You can argue "good old days" before computer automation - but I can think of a hundred times when a cart wasn't cued up and you started it in the middle of the spot ... or your record skipped ... or you mis-timed while "taking the Browns to the Super Bowl" and let the record run out on the air. That's when Royce would come in and say, "You're playing the label!"

Even so, I'd still take the "good old days." There was creativity back then, and -- Pine Bluff notwithstanding -- usually in the larger areas, the laws of Darwin often did their job weeding out the bad apples.

PB was my first fulltime stop outside of college (also A-State), and was quite the learning experience. I landed on my feet from KPBA doing middays at KOTN and then took another "first thing smokin'" out of Pine Bluff, went to Alabama, Public Radio, and never looked back. Today I'm in Georgia, still in pubcasting and loving it.

But it was a privilege to work with people like Chuck Sullivent and Royce Wolfe. They both were class acts in my book.

--Russell

 

[Media Mogul]

Russell...

Can you send me your e-mail address to [email protected]

I have a dilemma that only you can solve!


Grant

 

[Rich Moellers]

Karen Raley was ahead of her time. Today she'd be right at home managing a corporate cluster.

Hey...we're not all bad.

And those KCLA turntables and the original 1946 KCLA board - program to the left and audition to right. Sheesh. The tonearms tracked at about 20 pounds, and that - combined with the late '80s cheap pressings - made for some serious cueburn on damn near every record played.

I seem to remember that Capitol Records were especially bad. I was in the KCLA control room one time when Royce had just played "Strong Enough to Bend" by Tanya Tucker. It was not just cueburned...we had played both sides so many times that it it hissed all the way through. After the song was over, Royce said, "Tanya Tucker, with 'Strong Enough to Bend' on KCLA. Let's check and see, shall we?" He then bent the record on the air until it broke, then said, "Well, maybe not."

 

[rwells2265]

Karen Raley was ahead of her time. Today she'd be right at home managing a corporate cluster.

Hey...we're not all bad.

Never said they were! But you know what I mean ... you and I both are products of ASU's RTV program, and we had an interest in radio early on, having gotten our first jobs in high school. We both have this stuff in our blood. Unfortunately, in my experience our kind today are outnumbered by those who jump into radio and run it as if it were any ol' business. And it isn't limited to commercial radio, either -- I could tell you some stories about the public radio station in Alabama where I worked for over 10 years.

Favorite KR story: I was News Director, and worked the early shift. I was home about 430 PM and the phone rings. It's Karen, begging me to come back out to the station because KCLA had gone off the air and nobody could cycle it back up.

I get there, and she's pointing to what she thinks is the transmitter -- "How do you turn this on?"

Ummmm, no you're pointing to the MODULATION METER. The transmitter is the big gray thing right next to us with the giant, glowing orange filaments inside.

I seem to remember that Capitol Records were especially bad. I was in the KCLA control room one time when Royce had just played "Strong Enough to Bend" by Tanya Tucker. It was not just cueburned...we had played both sides so many times that it it hissed all the way through. After the song was over, Royce said, "Tanya Tucker, with 'Strong Enough to Bend' on KCLA. Let's check and see, shall we?" He then bent the record on the air until it broke, then said, "Well, maybe not."

Thanks for the laugh!! I completely forgot about that incident. Royce Wolfe was one of a kind. What's truly sad is, eventually HE managed to get run off by TPTB. He turned up doing overnights at KOTN before I left town in February '90. :-\

Yeah, those Capitol pressings were the worst. I have several promos in my collection from that time frame and just by looking at the vinyl one can tell it most likely had a previous life as candle wax.

Remember when we all were "issued" needles because one of the parttimers didn't know how to properly cue a record?

And Jay Williams - who by the time I left there was music director. He had a 'sidekick' of sorts .... "The Green Grunchin", wasn't it?

Them's were the days.............

--Russell

 

[Rich Moellers]

Never said they were! But you know what I mean ... you and I both are products of ASU's RTV program, and we had an interest in radio early on, having gotten our first jobs in high school. We both have this stuff in our blood. Unfortunately, in my experience our kind today are outnumbered by those who jump into radio and run it as if it were any ol' business.

I do know what you mean...there aren't that many who come up through Programming, then Sales then Management as I did. But I wish my salespeople could spend a week in programming and vice versa. Of course, my Traffic Director can hold it over my head that I've never done that job at a radio station!

[And Jay Williams - who by the time I left there was music director. He had a 'sidekick' of sorts .... "The Green Grunchin", wasn't it?

Jay had big, nicotine-drenched pipes. "The Green Grunchin'," I recall, was a little character that Jay talked to throughout the day. It was nothing more than Jay playing back a 3.5 ips reel at 7 ips and was one of the worst radio bits I've ever heard. It reminded me of Bruno Kirby in Good Morning Vietnam doing his "Frenchy" bit. Perhaps the highlight of my life, though, was finding the tapes of Jay recording the Grunchin' and playing them back at regular speed. He spoke slowly at 3.5 ips so the Grunchin' could be understood at 7 ips - and I just cringed when I heard it.

If you'll recall, Jay actually had some little green stuffed critter on the control board that he said was the Grunchin'. The funniest thing that ever happened to the Grunchin' was when a fellow part-timer outfitted him with the butt of a Pall Mall ciggy in his mouth and a Corona bottle cap for a little hat. At least, I thought it was funny - Jay didn't laugh.

Who was the tall, scrawny part-timer who followed me on Sundays? This dude was so laid back he made the Dalai Lama look like a Type-A personality. He always referred to the "Top Ten Turntable."