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The lost Aesop Fable: TQR

V

vchimpanzee

Once upon a time there was a boy named TQR. He was well-liked and popular but he had a tendency to overreact.

One day TQR was out in the woods when he came face-to-face with Q-94, I-95 and PCM. TQR ran back to town, frightened, yelling "Wolf! Wolf!" People from the town came to see what had upset him so. I-95 was gone, but no one considered Q-94 or PCM to be a serious threat, so the others went back to town.

Another time TQR was out in the woods and saw Q-94 and PCM, and he heard a robot counting down. At the end of the countdown there was Big 102. So big, the boy thought. And it was a mess. Not really a threat, until finally it cleaned up its act, and TQR saw he had something to be scared of. So he returned to town and yelled, "Wolf! Wolf!" The people were slow to respond this time because they knew the boy exaggerated. In fact, when they finally showed up, Q-94 was gone. And Big 102 soon turned into an alien chanting, "Jam on it, jam on it! Jamjamjam on it!" PCM went into hiding.

TQR was scared to return to those woods for a long time. But one day he went back and there was a big Kiss. That alone wasn't a big problem. And PCM had moved to another town and paired up with Kix. But when TQR saw a Fox and it began to whistle, he ran back to town once again yelling, "Wolf! Wolf!"

The townspeople were slow to respond. After all, TQR exaggerated a lot. And when they got there, Kiss was actually a Pointer. The people didn't really see what was so bad, and most went home. One clever man came up with an idea. He said, "You can buy the whistling Fox and neuter it!" TQR was reluctant to go near the whistling Fox, but he gave his alllowance to the man, who promptly had the Fox neutered. But this was all too much for the Fox. Soon all that was left was a Buzzard and a rapper who only spoke Spanish.

One day a robot voice began counting down ...
 
...and what were you smoking when you came up with this little tale?
 
Ones appreciation for this very effective tale is directly in proportion to your total awareness of the history of TQR and the market.

Nicely done!!!!
 
I was doing some research and I found out I left something out. This goes right after "PCM went into hiding".

For years, TQR did not venture out into those woods again. Then one day he saw a great big cat. He ran back to town yelling, "Wolf! Wolf!" His Aunt Eloise came with him to look and said, "Child, that ain't nothin' but I big old cat. Here, I'll give him money." When Aunt Eloise gave him money, the cat turned into a rock.
 
Problem was, the Cat didn't have a very big sand box in which to play! Signal problems certainly hurt that effort. Fairfield got stuck with that sorry signal, spent a lot of money trying to fix it, but still had problems.
 
That poor old signal has been everything! Many formats two or three times! I think it finally found its niche with Hispanic. That's been hugely successful for CC. Hispanic listeners don't seem to mind the static.
 
vchimpanzee said:
Once upon a time there was a boy named TQR. He was well-liked and popular but he had a tendency to overreact.

One day TQR was out in the woods when he came face-to-face with Q-94, I-95 and PCM. TQR ran back to town, frightened, yelling "Wolf! Wolf!" People from the town came to see what had upset him so. I-95 was gone, but no one considered Q-94 or PCM to be a serious threat, so the others went back to town.

Another time TQR was out in the woods and saw Q-94 and PCM, and he heard a robot counting down. At the end of the countdown there was Big 102. So big, the boy thought. And it was a mess. Not really a threat, until finally it cleaned up its act, and TQR saw he had something to be scared of. So he returned to town and yelled, "Wolf! Wolf!" The people were slow to respond this time because they knew the boy exaggerated. In fact, when they finally showed up, Q-94 was gone. And Big 102 soon turned into an alien chanting, "Jam on it, jam on it! Jamjamjam on it!" PCM went into hiding.

TQR was scared to return to those woods for a long time. But one day he went back and there was a big Kiss. That alone wasn't a big problem. And PCM had moved to another town and paired up with Kix. But when TQR saw a Fox and it began to whistle, he ran back to town once again yelling, "Wolf! Wolf!"

The townspeople were slow to respond. After all, TQR exaggerated a lot. And when they got there, Kiss was actually a Pointer. The people didn't really see what was so bad, and most went home. One clever man came up with an idea. He said, "You can buy the whistling Fox and neuter it!" TQR was reluctant to go near the whistling Fox, but he gave his alllowance to the man, who promptly had the Fox neutered. But this was all too much for the Fox. Soon all that was left was a Buzzard and a rapper who only spoke Spanish.

One day a robot voice began counting down ...
Click to expand...

I think I know how this fable ends:

One day [in October 2006] a robot voice began counting down [proclaiming "Oldies 93 is dead"], and this time it really was a Wolf, and TQR cried "Wolf! Wolf!" again, but nobody believed him, and [93.1] The Wolf ate TQR up [actually, it hasn't happened yet, but they're well on their way to doing so]. :D
 
Very creative! But you forgot the part about the c*ck (Rooster) at the end...
 
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