The constant and neverending use of "The New..." is explained by the Coriolis effect, wherein things appear different if viewed from a changing position. Related to the Doppler effect in sound, where the listener of "The Beagle" (the "new" combination of "The Bay" and "The Eagle") is never hearing the station's broadcast from exactly the same physical position in the time-space continuum, and thus the station is forever "new". (I believe Cox has several Nobel laureates in radio-astronomy on their payroll. They are apparently posing as board-ops.)
In addition, the hideously pukey image guy's inappropriately serious intoning of the phrase: "This is EEEEEeeeeeeeeaaaaagle music" is denoted in Newtonian physics as a signal that the station has built up enough entropy to trigger the Onsager reciprocal relations principle (Fourth Law of Thermodynamics) causing the listener to INSTANTLY CHANGE THE STATION.