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What's the difference between Johnny Pirkle and Arbitron? Johnny's numbers aren't estimates. They're facts.
 
Why is Citadel having money trouble? Incompetent and negligent management.

/change-up
 
Johnny Pirkle's tears will make a atation dominant.

The only time Johnny Pirkle ever cried was when the doctor slapped him as he was born. Baby Johnny slapped the doctor back to the early 1900's.

Jim Dick preserved that one tear and used it in 1972,

Johnny is deciding between crying again or working through lunch one day to take that dominance back.
 
Johnny Pirkle does not sleep. He lies awake in regret.

Johnny Pirkle is 1/8th Grand Cherokee. It has nothing to do with his heritage, he drives a Jeep.
 
Johnny Pirkle is so virile that, as a young man vacationing in Hawaii in November, 1960 he shook a young woman's hand. That woman was so overcome she collapsed immediately in ecstasy. Nine months later a baby boy was born. The hospital refused to believe her story and would not issue a birth certificate. Not because they doubted the manliness of Johnny Pirkle, but because the believed her to be a lying attention-seeking whore.

That baby boy is now President of The United States of America. And a lying attention-seeking whore much like his mom. And Citadel. And Citadel's research person in Knoxville.
 
If Johnny Pirkle were Col. Nathan Jessup in "A Few Good Men" he would have ordered the Code Red, carried it out himself, an given himself the Congressional Medal of Honor after saving Pvt. Santiago's life recognizing he was suffering from that acidosis thingie that lesser men would have let kill him.

Not only can Johnny Pirkle handle the truth, he could make Tom Cruise handle it, too.
 
Johnny Pirkle single handed kept the Knoxville radio market from being a four radio group cluster controlled by Clear Channel by not selling out his two stations. Knoxviile is the only market that Clear Channel did not have a media present in that was in the top 100. Long live Johnny Pirkle.
 
Johnny Pirkle gave WIVK a four decade head start just to make it an interesting contest.
 
Johnny Pirkle can use the accounts and descriptions of Major League Baseball without expressed written consent.
 
There once was a street named after Johnny Pirkle. It had to be renamed because nobody crosses Johnny Pirkle and lives.
 
A picture is worth a thousand words. A picture of Johnny Pirkle is worth a million words.
 
And on the third day God said, "Let their be light." Because Johnny Pirkle is afraid of the dark.

Pirkle and Denton both tried jogging. They quit when the couldn't keep the ice cubes in their glasses.

To this day, Johnny Pirkle is still washing his hair. The bottle said, "Repeat" after "Lather, Rinse."
 
Johnny Pirkle has been inducted to both the Country Music and Rock and Roll of Fame. Only person to do so.

He was asked to speak at James Brown funeral but was too busy with Citadel. So the family set up a live sat feed so that his words could be heard around the world. Long live Johnny Pirkle!
 
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