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What makes an acceptable traffic report?

P

Pastywhitethighs

Tammy Kolvack has managed to stir up a hornets nest that has spread into a good 3 or 4 threads..

This raised the question in my head.. "What" makes a good traffic report?" I would guess on the surface.. "Driving conditions on roads people care about". I don't care care how animated or mundane one might sound on the air.. IF you tell me there is an accident on my way to work, or on my way home..I care about that.

I've heard traffic reporters that may lack on air pizazz, that will tell me where an accident is, how it's affecting the drive, and a solid suggestion for how to avoid it.

I've also heard very animated reports that indicate, there is a problem.. You're sitting still...It sucks to be you.. There you have it...

So.. WHAT is a good traffic report? I've seen all kinds of comments why one particular traffic reporter is the worst thing that happened to radio since the consultant.

For the record, I think Tammy did a good job.

What is the gold standard of a traffic report that will make the discerning palate of us radio geeks happy?
 
i thought she did a good job and being from my hometown of bethlehem and started in the industry at wgpa. many successful people started there...bill zimpfer psu football play by play then to the dolphins...news and sports on wogl fm.
 
I can say with absolute certainty that there is a formula for solid traffic reportage. Here is the tenfold path.

#1: Ignore any mention of traffic flow on the major commuter thorofares. The mere fact that the Beltway will have more cars and trucks on it than any other road in the listening area should be of no consequence. After all, the name of the game is...

#2: ACCIDENTS! A laundry list of 'em, fired out with machine-gun velocity. Every one of 'em should sound serious enough to be worthy of a Fox News Alert, of course. The near-fatal at 2nd and Market in Harrisburg that snarls up the whole downtown region of the capital of Pennsylvania should get equal billing with the paint-scraper on the cul-de-sac in Lancaster County's Caernarvon Township. Where's that? Exactly.

#3: By no means broadcast an alternate route around a traffic jam. They only take listeners' attention away from...

#4: Sponsorships, writ large!! The Faulkner Honda Family First Traffic Alert, brought to you by Sutliff Chevy, should be immediately succeeded by a quick blurb about text message traffic alerts provided by Brenner Nissan, and a listener tip-line sponsored by Cindy Rowe/Safelite Auto Glass. Done correctly, there should be no time for any actual traffic information.

#5: Vague is vogue. There's a charity bike race in the middle of town, but since your station isn't a sponsor, it's important that you lamely refer to it as an "event", thus cementing your place among the least-informed-sounding communicators in radio history. "Watch for road closures downtown due to an event..." Wow. That's tight journalism.

#6: If possible, talk longer than your traffic bed should allow you to. It just sounds good.

#7: Listeners love the sound of a rushed, awkward edit. Sprinkle a few in per hour. Vary your levels.

#8: Mentioning the jock by name, only to have it turn out that someone else is filling in for that jock? Comedy gold.

#9: Popular landmarks and mile markers are of no help to listeners. Instead, pin it down with "somewhere between exits X and Y." This works especially well on the Turnpike, where there can be as many as 30 miles between exits. That's GPS-caliber accuracy, homes.

#10: A heinously-irritating set of vocal idiosyncrasies can keep you employed for a nice long while. Cultivate and practice them.
 
HardCore said:
I can say with absolute certainty that there is a formula for solid traffic reportage. Here is the tenfold path.

#1: Ignore any mention of traffic flow on the major commuter thorofares. The mere fact that the Beltway will have more cars and trucks on it than any other road in the listening area should be of no consequence. After all, the name of the game is...

#2: ACCIDENTS! A laundry list of 'em, fired out with machine-gun velocity. Every one of 'em should sound serious enough to be worthy of a Fox News Alert, of course. The near-fatal at 2nd and Market in Harrisburg that snarls up the whole downtown region of the capital of Pennsylvania should get equal billing with the paint-scraper on the cul-de-sac in Lancaster County's Caernarvon Township. Where's that? Exactly.

#3: By no means broadcast an alternate route around a traffic jam. They only take listeners' attention away from...

#4: Sponsorships, writ large!! The Faulkner Honda Family First Traffic Alert, brought to you by Sutliff Chevy, should be immediately succeeded by a quick blurb about text message traffic alerts provided by Brenner Nissan, and a listener tip-line sponsored by Cindy Rowe/Safelite Auto Glass. Done correctly, there should be no time for any actual traffic information.

#5: Vague is vogue. There's a charity bike race in the middle of town, but since your station isn't a sponsor, it's important that you lamely refer to it as an "event", thus cementing your place among the least-informed-sounding communicators in radio history. "Watch for road closures downtown due to an event..." Wow. That's tight journalism.

#6: If possible, talk longer than your traffic bed should allow you to. It just sounds good.

#7: Listeners love the sound of a rushed, awkward edit. Sprinkle a few in per hour. Vary your levels.

#8: Mentioning the jock by name, only to have it turn out that someone else is filling in for that jock? Comedy gold.

#9: Popular landmarks and mile markers are of no help to listeners. Instead, pin it down with "somewhere between exits X and Y." This works especially well on the Turnpike, where there can be as many as 30 miles between exits. That's GPS-caliber accuracy, homes.

#10: A heinously-irritating set of vocal idiosyncrasies can keep you employed for a nice long while. Cultivate and practice them.
Click to expand...

I missed you.
 
I say don't overthink this; I mean, it is a traffic report, nothing more, nothing less. Tammy did an outstanding job, I relied on her morning reports on 103. If nothing else, you could clearly understand her speech; Her replacement has a low rambling voice that I find very annoying & hard to understand.

I have pretty much tuned out of 103 now, due to dropping Tammy AND the addition of all of those extremely long commercial blocks. Who makes the decisions at Warm 103? The commercials are a complete turn off, they only serve to drive me & others to another station or my mp3 player.

They sure aren't selling me anything. ::)
 
Traffic reports should stay local - everyone out there agree?

So why do the "I'm in Philly - trying to sound like I'm in H-Y-L"
insist on forcing the mid-state into their lingo.

Hey cheese-steak eaters...there's no MainLine out here -
add-on some freakin' research money back in to your operations
while you continue your cost-cutting moves. By the way, mail
me a consultant check for this freebie.

Prediction A: Soon all traffic reports will come out of Houston TX
the home of WW1.

Prediction B: Central PA beware...Philly influence starting to overtake
the region. 1st: The Governor #2 Valpak local now owned out of Phila
#3 Traffic reports also coming from 'over there' Hmmmmm
 
I've always been a big fan of the idea of selling Philthadelphia to New Jersey.....
 
It doesn't matter where it comes from.....as long as the sponsorship tag is read properly. "This Traffax report brought to you by Odor Eaters! Sitting in traffic stinks...make sure your feet don't." Why are we still beating this dead horse?
 
I raised the question because some good reporters are getting flamed on this board. And I thought maybe my ears need to be trained a little, because I heard nothing wrong with the one reporter who was getting the bulk of the beatdown..
 
jeff bolden and i are guilty of about 5 or 6 of the traffic 'rules' reporting traffic for dub a ya fmz clients in da lehigh valley.................we do strive though for 'comedy gold' at any point.........i did one time record a traffic report and forgot to edit a belch out; now that's comedy gold (i apologized personally to the jock that aired it and he said it was one of the funniest things ever)..........
 
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