YOU'RE OLD...FROM THE NORTHERN NEW ENG. BOARD

[BIG APE]

;D I thought this was great on the Northern New England Board..It's me alright!

You Know You're An Old D.J. when...

You remember first being hired by a GM who actually worked in radio
before becoming GM.

You excitedly turn the radio up at the sound of "dead air" on the
competitor's station.

Sales guys wore Old Spice to cover the smell of liquor.

You were playing Elvis' number one hits... when he was alive.

Engineers could actually fix things without sending them back to the
manufacturer.

You were concerned about playing music to please your local audience
rather than your consultant a thousand miles away.

You worked for only ONE station, and you could name the guy who owned it.

You remember when normal people listened to AM radio, and only "hippies"
listened to FM.

Radio stations used to have enough on-air talent to field a softball
team every summer.

You're at least 10 years older than the last two GM's who fired you.

You remember the days before computers when dead-air was not tolerated.

You meant to return that record album to the DJ on the next shift, but
the PD fired him before you got around to it.

You used to smoke in a radio station and nobody cared.

You still count the number of bells? heard in the distance - - to
determine if you need to run and check the teletype machine for a bulletin.

You know the difference between good reel-to-reel tape and cheap
reel-to-reel tape.

Religious radio stations were locally owned, run by an old Protestant
minister and his wife, never had more than 20 listeners at any given
time, and still made money.

You have a white grease pencil, a razor blade, and a spool of 3M
splicing tape in your desk drawer - - just in case.

You know people who actually listened to baseball games on the radio.

You can start a record, run down the hall, go to the bathroom, take a
crap, and be back in 2:50 for the segue.

The new guy you're training has never listened to an AM station. He
couldn't even name one in his own hometown if his life depended on it.

You knew exactly where to put the tone on the end of a carted song.

You spent most of the time on Friday nights giving out the high school
football scores. And when they weren't phoned-in, you got really pissed off.

You can remember the name of the very first girl that was hired in your
market as a DJ.

Somebody would say, "You have a face for radio", and it was still funny.

You always had a screwdriver in the studio so you could take a fouled-up
cart apart at a moment's notice.

You would spend hours splicing and editing a parody tape until it was
"just right", but didn't give a damn how bad that commercial was you
recorded. Hey, I can only work with what they give me, right?

You still refer to CDs as "records".

Your family thinks you're successful, but you know better.

You played practical jokes on the air without fear of lawsuits.

There were always at least a dozen porn magazines lying around the studio.

You've been married at least 3 times, or, never married at all.

You answer your home phone with the station call letters.

You used to fight with the news guy over air-time. After all, what was
more important: your joke about your ex-wife, or that tornado warning?

You knew how to change the ribbon on the teletype machine, but you hated
to do it because "...that's the news guy's job."

You had listeners who only tuned in for the news, and not you. You could
never figure that out.

You know at least 3 people in sales that take credit for you keeping
your job.

You remember when "Rock" wasn't a bunch of guys who look and sound more
like girls.

You have several old air-check cassettes in a cardboard box in your
closet that you wouldn't dream of letting anyone hear anymore, but,
you'll never throw them out or tape over them. Never!

You can still see scars on your finger when you got cut using a razor
blade and cleaned out the cut with head-cleaning alcohol and an extra
long cotton swab on a wooden stick.

You still have dreams of a song running out and not being able to find
the control room door.

You've ever told a listener "Yeah. I'll get that right on for you."

You remember having an assortment of coins in the control room to place
on the tone arm for that really warped record.

You have a couple of old transistor radios around the house with
corroded batteries inside them.

People who ride in your car exclaim, "Why is your radio so loud?"

Going to a club and not getting paid to work seems like a waste of time.

You have at least 3 unopened CDs, 2 T-shirts, 22 bumper stickers, and 5
old cups. in your car.

You have at least 19 pictures of you with famous people whom you haven't
seen since, and wouldn't know you today if you bit 'em on the ass.

You wish you could have been on "Name That Tune" because you would have
won a million bucks.

You even REMEMBER "Name That Tune".

You were a half an hour late for an appearance and blamed it on the
directions you received from the sales person.

You remember when people actually thought radio was important.

You know what an RCA BK5B is.

You are the proud owner of a Third Endorsed license and can do meter
readings.

You ran those annoying EBS tests when the AP wire told you to.

Your first GM in that small town had a bad toupee, and the biggest
client on the air was the Hair Replacement Clinic.

You could fall into that annoying "radio voice" that all pukers had at
the drop of a hat. People who knew you out of the business would always
ask you say something in that voice at parties.

 

[Stuart]

From a Listener's Point Of View... YOU'RE OLD...

You remember installing an FM Converter in your 1971 Dodge to hear FM Stations!
You realized your in antenna in the front windshield was useless and had one installed on the outside of the car!
Broken antenna?, not a problem. Where is that coat hanger?
You remember when Jocks were called "Boss Jocks", not "hosts"!
You thought to yourself, Cassette's, what a stupid concept! 8-Tracks are going nowhere!!
You remember when Howard Stern was actually funny!
"Nappy Headed....", Oh! that IMUS!!
It's called the "Enterprise Sports Network?"
His name is Rush Limbaugh??, it sounds like the name of a cheese!
"Stairway To Heaven" is playing, The Jock probably had to go to the restroom! ( Big Ape)
You remember when "The Star Spangled Banner" was played at the end of the broadcast day!
You lived in Philadelphia, and you thought it was "cool" to pick up WBZ Boston, or WLS Chicago at night!
You could call a Radio Station and they would send you pens, bumper stickers, etc...
You thought, what a great job! he gets to play music and talk 4 hours a day and goes home!!
"MOM"!!, I want to go downtown NOW and see the KDKA people in the Department Store Windows!
"Clear Channel"?, never heard of them!
I really like it when they give the weather report 2 times per hour!
I love this station, they tell you the name of the songs!
They have been playing this format for the past twenty years, they never will change it!
Put the Phillies's Game back on, I don't care about Nixon and that Water Thing!
OK, stations West of the Mississippi begin with a "K" and East of it begins with a "W". What about KDKA, KQV, & KYW?
AM Radio will never be replaced by FM!

Thanks Ape, this was fun ;D

Stuart

 

[errandboy]

more "remember when...."

...Minimum wage laws did not apply to radio stations, restaurants, and movie theaters. The poster in the bathroom said so!

...Your bright orange sports coat with the station logo was the only coat you had.

...You did production on the audition channel while segueing an LP on the "air" channel.

...You had to pass a test that asked if you should pour water on a smoldering control board.

...Legal ID's were given on the hour and on the half-hour, regardless!
...Downtown stores would not cash checks, or extend credit to announcers.
...The contest line was the only telephone line the station had.
...DJ's were canned for letting a "damn" or "hell" slip out on the air.

...The program dayparts had names. i.e. "Homemaker Melodies" "The clock-watcher"
...Part of your job included doing a "Swap Shop/Trading Station"
Show.

...Your network feed came on a phone line looped through 7 other stations before it got to you, making the fidelity about the same as McDonald’s drive...through.

...You remember "CBS Sports Central USA"
...You know who Brother John Rivers is...or Earl Nightingale.
...Every remote was done on a program loop, installed by a telephone guy the day of the remote. You had the number to the local telephone test board posted at the station. And, if you called it in the middle of the night, someone would be there to answer.

...You like the smell of fresh reel to reel tape.
...Your station traded out for jingles from Pepper-Tanner.
...You read lost dog announcements on the "Pet Patrol."
...You remember when an EBS test involved shutting off the carrier of the transmitter for a few seconds.

...You know what Conelrad is.
...Your station had a bomb shelter paid for by Civil Defense.
...The owner of the station sometimes pulled a board shift.
...You ever judged a local "Voice of Democracy" essay contest.
...You've ever done play by play of a parade...or fireworks...on the radio.
...You read the livestock prices from National Stockyards at East St.
Louis every day on the air.

...All the big rock stations you listened to had a reverb on the mic channel.
...You shut the audio of the station off for a few seconds on sunday night so some guy in Indiana or Missouri could measure your station’s frequency.

...Your station routinely signed off on Sunday night.
...You read commercial copy LIVE from a copy book that was in alphabetical order (more or less).

...You knew how far in to pot up a record so the cue burn wouldn't go out over the air!

...Logs were hand typed every day AND included every single element on the air.
...Automation tapes were bicycled from station to station. (I hope I don’t have to explain that one!)

...You took transmitter readings every half hour.
...All the Third Class Operators Licenses were posted on a wall - and you had to study for a test just to get one!

...ALL radio stations had news... twice an hour.
...FM??? It's only good for night ball games after the AM daytimer signed off.
...You went by the FCC book. Including the correct mumber of PSA's
...Your top and bottom of the hour I.D.s included frequency, city and STATE.
...Only Chicago clear channels could leave the state off.
...Stations did not have names. Only call letters... no B..something or Z something...or whatever.
...'In The Public Interest' was a phrase that actually meant something.
...Group Ownership' meant a group of people owned the station.
...Re-inking teletype ribbons.
...You know what a patch cord is and used them often.
...You had to go to the station 45 minutes early to turn on the filaments on the transmitter before you punched up the plate power.

...When AM was the "live" part of the station and the FM was on a 6 deck reel-to-reel automation system with 3 carousels.

...When you said "GATES" and everyone knew what equipment brand you were talking about.

...You had to leave your AM air shift to check the tapes (especially the "dead roll" on the FM automation system).

...You still instinctively snap awake ready to start the next event when you hear the Monitor Beacon.

 

[BIG APE]

Man, Thank both of ya..I remember all that stuff..Especially 1966...WRKT.. NBC's Voice of Cape Kennedy..You're on the Moniter Beacon...