Darian O'Toole - R.I.P.

[DToTheJ]

Still don't get how you die from a broken leg...R.I.P.

It's actually not unheard of. When Redskins safety Sean Taylor was shot in the leg last year, the bullet punctured a femoral artery, which contributed to his death. Now, granted, Ms. O'Toole was not shot, but this is just an example of a limb-related death.

 

[JackGrodeska]

I learned of Darian’s death on Monday, April 6th. I have gone through the emotions; sadness, anger, then the emptiness of losing a friend. It’s taken me these last 4 days to get to a point where I am comfortable with writing about her.

Our story started 10 years ago. I was doing a consulting job in Manhattan at a large broadcasting company, in conjunction with my regular management gig at a large tech/sales company. I was having lunch and this whirlwind plopped down in the seat across from me and simultaneously asked if anyone was sitting there. I said “no”, and went back to reading my newspaper. “I’m Darian O’Toole” she announced. I looked up and saw this attractive red head and reciprocated the introduction. We talked about her upcoming new radio show at the classic rock station, my old career in film and theater, traded war stories including my VERY brief and disastrous stint on SoCal radio in the early 80’s. Then we both had to get back to work.

After that day, it seemed that everywhere I went…there was O’Toole, sometimes with her boyfriend, sometimes alone. Each time we met, we would have these amazing conversations. We became friends.

I will never forget the few times that I became an unwilling participant on her show. She told me once that she was going to have Donny Osmond on the show. I made the mistake of telling her about my childhood rivalry with Donny Osmond. (Every guy who is around Donny’s, & my age, remembers how all the girls were crazy about him and how they wanted to “save their first date” for Donny. Such was life for a 13 year old!)

It was 5:30 in the morning. I had been out at a nightclub until 3AM. The phone rings. Anytime the phone rings that early in the morning, one always thinks the worst. I rushed to pick it up. After fumbling, and a groggy hello, the chipper voice on the other end said something like:

“Good morning. Is this Jack Grodeska?”
I said it was.
“Well, good morning! This is Donny!”
“Donny?” I asked.
“Donny Osmond.”

From there the conversation spiraled into my personal hell. Looking back, I can’t help but smile. She did the same thing sometime later with Danny Bonaducci. (You’d think I would have learned from the “Osmond Incident”, as we called it)

There were a lot of stories like that over the years. Sometimes I was on the receiving end, sometimes she was.



We didn’t get to see much of each other after she went back to SFO. We stayed in touch via e-mail. I would see her from time to time when I went out to the coast for business, but that was few and far between.

Most recently, she and several others helped to persuade me to return to my roots and build my own production company. Thanks, in part, to Darian, Sandy Hook Bay Studios was born. (Still in process, but “born” none the less.) We even discussed a script based on a short story and she was instrumental in helping modernize the characters. This will be the company’s first production.
(I was planning on pitching her to play the villain after I finish the final draft. I wish I had told her, it might have cheered her up. But I waited because I wanted to surprise her.)

I have read quite a few blogs and posts about Darian over the last few days in an effort to attempt to find out if there was to be a service, etc. For the most part, most were very kind. In particular, Shawn Kelly wrote a very nice piece on his site: www.rosweed.com. I realize that it must have been very difficult to write and I commend you for it. You are, and have always been, a stand up guy, Shawn.

Others, have not been so kind, and have dredged up a lot of issues that, while they may be the perception of the authors (They might even be true, for all I know.), really have no place in these eulogy-type posts and discussions. It’s just bad form, as her family and friends are more than likely reading them. Karin wasn’t perfect, but then none of us are. If you have gripes, put them aside, forgive her if you feel it necessary, and let her rest. (My suggestion, flame me if you feel it necessary.)

In closing, Karin was a friend. I will miss her immeasurably and hope that she is at peace. Pardon the unabashed cliche, but in my imagination, I can see her, as Darian O’Toole, hanging out with Jimi Hendrix, Janice Joplin, & Jim Morrison, Goofin’ with Elvis and dancing with Freddy Mercury…… forever young…... in a “rock & roll heaven, where you know they’ve got a hell of a band.”

Good night, Karen.


Jack

 

[DyingMedium]

Starbucks....you kind of answered your own statement/question. If she were on the air having mental problems, people would wondering what she's doing on the air. THAT HAPPENED! Now, she has passed away...which changes things. Or it should. Judging by your other posts about other who've died, you don't have any compassion anyway.

 

[punkdj]

You kind of answered your own question. She had mental health problems. Put aside her death....would you vote for a president that has mental problems. Would you want your kids in the same room as a teacher , with mental health problems. Or would you want someone running or representing your business (even if it's a radio station) with mental problems.
If she was still alive and on the air today with mental health problems...people would wonder what the hell is she doing on the air in the first place. Not what kind of person she is off the air. It's not like she has some hidden office administration or retail job, where she is unknown to the public. She's present in front of the whole city that can easily tune her in.
People get frustrated (especially in a business like this) that would like to have or given the chance where she has been, and instead see's someone like her who gets the priviledge of F******up more then once.

hate to tell you but there are a lot of mental health issues in radio, get rid of everyone with a problem and you wont have very many people on the radio.
why do you think most are in this biz??? cuz we cant handle real jobs. it takes a special kind of person to be in radio and part of it is being a little bit mental.

 

[Starbucks]

Not trying to be offensive , you raised an interesting issue....what I like you to do is define mental issues in radio or show biz. Mental in what way? It's interesting how other former radio people or in other entertainment facets would take to this post. You maybe right that it takes a special character to get into this....but the let down to others who read this board would be that broadcasting or entertainment (musicians, actors, etc) is the only thing that they can do. Do you think we can handle sign twirling?

 

[cm454]

Then again, you caould easily argue that radio is what MAKES people mental.

Anyone who has worked in this business long enough knows how it can $%&# with your head BIG TIME.

Some people deal with it in different ways.

If you took the average 9 to 5'er off the street and made them a radio person, there's a good chance that in 10 years they'd be as crazy as any other radio person.

Radio can do weird things to the human mind. If you weren't well balanced to begin (no pun intended) with, you may have an even more "interesting" personality when all is said and done.

You know the chicken vs. the egg question?

Well...which came first: the crazy or the radio gig?

 

[Starbucks]

That's hard to answer. But after an air shift I can remember without realizing it, when I stop over to a restaurant, and gave my order to the waitress....like I was reading a commercial, "I'll take the Turkey Platter special for 7.99". I kept thinking I was still on the air. Maybe your right, it may have side effects.

 

[BossRadioDJ]

Re: BF-T On Darian O'Toole

Ben Fong-Torres writes about Darian's passing, and reveals several interesting elements about her life, in today's "Radio Waves":

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/04/18/PKR01027M1.DTL&type=tvradio
or http://tinyurl.com/6n2wo9

DJ

 

[Tom_KYA1260]

[/quote]

She is but one of many people that populate our airwaves with irresponsible brodacasting. I have heard her work. She is not a role model. Perhaps if people like her were somewhat more responsible there would be less crude and rude people in this world.

If you were to fall asleep in 1957 and wake up in 2008 it would be obvious to you how society has deterioted.


[/quote]

I concur.

 

[michaelsea]

Darian,
You were a great friend tho at times a lil flighty.
We just found out and we are in shock.We had been trying to contact you and congratulate you on your new gig.
We are sure gonna miss you.

Land Ho, Michael Sea