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Fantastic word game

As Professor Plum slowly strangled her with a rope in the study, Mrs. Peacock sat quietly in a plush, leather chair, in a darkened corner o' the room, n' documented the stranglin' on a high-resolution camera.
 
"90 miles per hour! Now, why in tarnation would anyone want to go that fast?" quipped the tobacco-chewin', locomotive engineer, die-rectly after the time travelin' duo o' Doc n' Marty inquired 'bout just how fast that old steam engine could move.
 
"That old steam engine could move a lot faster that our brand new ones can right now, on account of all the water we're taking on after hitting that iceberg," mused Captain Edward J. Smith of the Titanic.
 
The difference between " that" and "than," apparently having escaped his attention, may cause the Director of Linguistics (DoL as most prefer) to suffer another cranial explosion when he sees his own mistake.
 
When he sees his own mistake, he always slaps his head and mutters "Not again," because that is a mistake he makes all the time but usually catches.

Than/that has been a typographical bugaboo for me as long as I can remember. I do it much more than I do the/teh, which seems to be other folks' most frequent error.
 
Catches is one stat that the wide receivers for the New York Giants do not have a lot of this season, but idiots like me still sit and watch them play every week hoping that something will improve.
 
Improve our own contributions by following that one-sentence rule until I see that no one called rosecity on Contribution # 52,604 which will lead my cranium to explode all over CT's cranium and his filing cabinet of journalistic excellence.
 
CT's cranium and his filing cabinet of journalistic excellence, n' his short-statured, light-haired female companion who assists with all o' that specific dee-partment, will be along shortly to just see about that.

Ain''t it i-ronic? A submission criticizing my post, ain't got a comma, one, in it.
 
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See about that comma and I'll raise you two apostrophes and a prepositional phrase.

I was criticizing about breaking the one sentence rule. You have two sentences back there.

From The Google regarding commas: A comma is a punctuation mark used to indicate a pause or separation within a sentence, primarily for clarity. Key uses include separating items in a list, joining two independent clauses with a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so), setting off introductory phrases or clauses, and enclosing non-essential information.

Based on all of that, I don't see where I needed a comma. Haven't we discussed this subject one or two million times or so? Man, do we ever need Mr. Allen right about now. ;)
 
A prepositional phrase is headed for rosecity's impressive stack in this round of grammar poker because a comma definitely is needed after "#52,604" in WMC's previous entry, and I'm sure Mr. Allen, were he here, would concur.

Muffle that brain blast, ex-Czar, please. While the PBI is a sound sleeper, she's not comatose (or commatose, as punsters prefer).
 
Concur with the Linguistics Die-rector, I certainly do, n' I thank him kindly fer all of the effort he puts into his unpaid position.

It's good to have friends in high places, I'll tell you what. A lovely gift basket is headed the boudoir's way.
 
Certain looky-loos oughta have a looky at yer subject/verb disagreement there, Padre, n' I reckon it'll now be you looky-looin' at another heap o' those tickets headed towards the sanctuary.

I reckon CT n' Kayla must be enu..inun...um, swamped with all o' this here recent paperwork. Y'all must be try'na approach my own redneck level of linguistical lows.
 
Hheaded towards the sanctuary in hopes of finding safe shelter away from the invasion of creatures from Mars that had descended upon Los Angeles, Dr. Clayton Forrester and Sylvia Van Buren heard the thundering roar of military jets in the skies overhead that were proving to be ineffective against the invaders.
 
Invaders (iinvaders, as they prefer) from Mmars, Jjupiter, Aalpha Ccentauri or some other galactic outpost where double letters often precede nouns, have wreaked havoc on the first word of dmargalotti's (ddmargalotti's, as they prefer) latest entry, and you know what that means, don't you?
 
Don't you believe me when I tell you that it was not my fault that the last contribution I made contained an error?

Honestly. I am so busy with my band camp duties that I've had to outsource some of my contributions. I guess I need a better system for screening applicants.
 
*Last contribution I made contained an error?" he asked, to which we have now confirmed that it was actually two contributions prior, but all is for-given, Padre, n' we'll certainly shake yer hand n' give you a pat on the back when we see you tomorrow night at the new Illusions (New Illusions, as most rednecks would type).

'Cuz, by gum, it's the weekend n' y'all know what that means. Join CT, Kayla, "The Second City Security Saint" scanman (HOSS, as most others pre-fer), n' this here ol' redneck, as kenny and The Padre cue up the needles on some vintage 80's rock hits (n' some 80's country, too, if'n CT, the PBI n' I get our co-lective way) tomorrow night.

Hey, Padre. I may just get you to throw in a bonus track from Michael W. Smith, if'n you'd o-blige.

...oh, I didn't forget the club's pro-prietor. I'm sure he'll be over by that infernal, Denny's-sponsored mechanical bull, keepin' a firm eye on those 3 sittin' in the booth, plottin' n' schemin':a sure-fire way to die-vert his attention.

The thunder rolls, as it usually does on a Friday evenin', but t'night it was re-po-sitioned, n' heard from the Great Lone Star.
 


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