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Adapted from President Andrew Shepherd's press conference speech in the film "The American President":
"I've known Rush Limbaugh for years, and I've been operating under the assumption that the reason Rush devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn't get it. Well, I was wrong. Rush's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. Rush's problem is that he needs to sell it! We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Rush Limbaugh is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you gain ratings. You gather a group of 25-54, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about gay marriage and illegal aliens and welfare. And you reminisce for years after his Presidency about Bill Clinton and you wax bellicose and you tell them, he's to blame for their lot in life, and you go on radio and you call him unpatriotic."
Just thought that would be fun to do....
Ring-ring.
"Hello, you've reached the Bain Capital Partners LLC and Thomas H Lee Partners LP sales and service center, formerly Clear Channel radio programming. All calls are returned within seven days. Press 1 if you'd like to buy airtime. Press 2 if you'd like to buy more airtime. Press 3 if you'd like to buy naming rights. Press 4 if you'd like to sponsor something. Press 5 if you'd like to buy an info-mercial. Press 6 if you'd like to buy a story in a newscast. Press 7 if you'd like to buy even more airtime. Press 8 if you'd like to buy some of our valuable junk bonds."
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