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Lousy theme songs

What do you consider to be amongst the worst theme songs (opening and/or closing) ever on TV?

Here are some I think are pretty weak (imo):
ADAM-12. Of the Jack Webb hit shows, the closing theme to "Emergency!" and both themes used in "Dragnet 1967" are superior.

"The Jetsons" and "Johnny Quest". Not much of a tune to either one.

I don't know how I feel about "Night Gallery". The music surely fits the haunting mood of the series. It's disconcerting and sounds disjointed, but maybe I should view that in a positive light given the nature of the show.
 
We're gonna agree to disagree on "The Jetsons"...A bad one that just came to mind is the jazzy big band arrangement of the "Leave It To Beaver" theme used in that show's last season.
 
Corky Marlowe said:
We're gonna agree to disagree on "The Jetsons"...A bad one that just came to mind is the jazzy big band arrangement of the "Leave It To Beaver" theme used in that show's last season.

I know I am in the minority, but I enjoyed the Season 6 Beaver theme.....they also credited the music score in the closing (either Paul Smith or Pete Rugolo) and the background music was happier than in seasons 1-5. Also seeing Beaver & Wally in more grown-up situations made for some unusual twists and turns in the plots. Alas, they closed shop after season 6.

And yes, the Jetsons theme was actually played on VH1 in its infancy. :)

cd
 
My vote goes the theme used on the final months of the CBS run of "To Tell the Truth". IMHO, the "classic" theme used from the early '60's through '67-ish was one of the best themes of any Goodson-Todman production. The one used after the set was "modernized" may have been the worst. I've got to admit, though...every time I hear the '67-'68 theme I can't get it out of my mind for at least two or three days.
 
The current version of the "Entertainment Tonight" theme--although I don't normally watch ET it's bad enough to hear part of the new theme music during their promos. I wish they could bring back their original jazzy version of their theme from the early '80s.
 
Corky Marlowe said:
A bad one that just came to mind is the jazzy big band arrangement of the "Leave It To Beaver" theme used in that show's last season.

Much like the jazzed-up Season Five version of the classic Get Smart theme--when it moved to CBS.
 
...anything that Sherwood Schwartz applied lyrics to (Gilligan's Island, It's About Time, The Brady Bunch)...
 
Agreed, rnigma! Give me Herbert Spencer, Earle Hagen, Wilbur Hatch, Mahlon Merrick or Frank DeVol anytime! For more modern stuff, it's Mike Post for me...
 
If you remember it and correctly associate it with a program, it's not lousy.

The decline of television began when networks began doing voice promos over theme songs with lyrics.
 
One of the worst has to be, above all, that of Friends! I'm sorry, but "I'll Be There For You" is not my idea of a great opening title track.

Close second is Two and a Half Men; that incessant repetition of "Men" puts it to utter shame.
 
I'm with Corky on The Jetsons theme. On another hand I've hardly watched Beaver so I can't comment on its evolving theme.

And I'm at loggerheads with landtuna on The Jeffersons theme. I think it's great (especially the slow bluesey closing version), better than the AITF themes.

ixnay
 
That 1967-68 "To Tell The Truth" theme was by Score Productions,
and (to me, at least) all their game-show themes seem to sound vaguely
alike. I think "TTTT" redeemed itself with the 1969-78 theme with the lyrics.

I think the best "Password" theme was the jazzy second one (the one Allen
Ludden would snap his fingers to during the closing credits); I rather liked the
first theme of the ABC version (although I think it was a Score Productions theme)
but not the "Password All-Stars" theme.

Some of the best were taken from works performed by people not even connected
with the shows (remember "Swingin' Safari" by Bert Kaempfert as the original "Match
Game" theme in the '60s or "Chump Change" by Quincy Jones as "Now You See It"'s
theme?).

My favorite themes are not from game shows: "The Bob Newhart Show," "Mannix,"
"Hill Street Blues," and "Route 66."
 
For lousy ones, I might have to go with the theme for "I Married Joan," done a capella with background "bom-bom-bom-bom". Had there been instrumental backing, it might have been better. Musta been a budget issue!

Add the opening spiel, and.....well.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvHjhbba8Z8

cd
 
Corky Marlowe said:
We're gonna agree to disagree on "The Jetsons"...A bad one that just came to mind is the jazzy big band arrangement of the "Leave It To Beaver" theme used in that show's last season.
That version of the theme was arranged by Pete Rugolo, who a year later would come up with the theme for 'The Fugitive', an underrated classic.
This one would probably be more highly regarded if it had been written a few seasons earlier. I think people dislike it because they associated it with big-headed, teenaged Jerry Mathers, the last one running out to the station wagon, with that dopey, electroshock therapy grin on his face.
 
The first season theme of "Love, Sydney" was a bit sappy with Tony Randall, Swoosie Kurtz and Karlena Kiff singing together. I liked the second season theme with Gladys Knight better.

The theme song to "Gloria" with Sally Struthers.

The 1988-1989 The Cosby Show theme was probably the worse theme they could have used as I felt that it was weird with all of the dancing.
 
Yeah that '88-'89 'ballet' opening for The Cosby Show was the point when the kids were no longer cute, Cos started phoning it in, and nearly every episode seemed to be about how cuckolded all of the men were. Ironically, the next theme was used for the following two seasons(with the 'Booker T' sax solo, and Cosby's 'This is the best elevator music I ever heard!' line), and the final theme(a hip-hop trumpet version by Lester Bowie), which had been intended for season 7, was instead delayed to season 8.
 
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